“War, Inc.”
2008
*** out of ****
Director: Joshua Seftel
Cast: John Cusack, Marisa Tomei, Hilary Duff


Oh, there are two things that I absolutely hate in film – a slow first act and fake accents. I can deal with a well-paced first act, a slow second act, and a picked-up third act, and I even dealt with Cate Blanchett playing a Russian in last week’s “Indiana Jones.” But I cannot deal with a slow first act. If the first act is slow, then it would lower my expectations for the next two acts, so more than likely, I will hate it. If the film has a fake accent, then it isn’t considered great acting, correct?

The two things stopping me from giving “War, Inc.” four stars is the slow first act and Hilary Duff’s fake Middle Eastern accent. Other than that, “War, Inc.” is a really entertaining and very funny movie, but that’s only after the first act. The first act, however, sets up the entire movie, but does it so boringly that it was easy for me to lose focus as to what was going into the film until I rewatched the first act again.

The movie takes place in the fictional country of Turaqistan. America’s former vice president (Dan Aykroyd) is hosting a private corporation in the country, and he asks a buffalo drinking hit-man Brand Hauser (John Cusack) to kill some Middle Eastern guy who has something to do with the country’s oil supply. (Lyubomir Neikov) He disguises himself as an organizer for a popular Middle Eastern singer (Hilary Duff) and trying to keep a reporter (Marisa Tomei) away from her by spreading out secrets about the wedding.

“War, Inc.” is completely cynical and mad throughout the entire film, but it goes from being goofy and serious, and never actually decides which it wants to be. One of the many scenes in the film is when Marisa Tomei’s character is caught by terrorists who aspire to become filmmakers. By sending in a videotape of demands (including basketball trades), these terrorists bring John Cusack to their home where these aren’t actual terrorists, but auteur filmmakers just looking to make a movie with some Spike Lee camera angles. It seems like all is fine until Cusack and Tomei walks out of the door and get caught in crossfire between a helicopter and terrorists going at it.

“War, Inc.” is no “Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb,” but it is pretty damn close to being just as funny as it is. The jokes are equally separated – some of the jokes are political, some are farce, some are dark, and some are pop-culture jokes. But the movie, which manages to have a slow first act, doesn’t slow down on the jokes. Even at times when it is slow in the second or third act, there is always a joke thrown in there that kept my interest.

John Cusack does a really good job as the main character. But what I’m sure many film geeks are probably questioning about is whether or not this role is just a rehash of his role in the 90s flick “Grosse Pointe Blank.” The answer is that while the roles are really similar, this guy that Cusack plays is just a bit more experienced and cynical. He hates everything about the world but keeps it tucked in until a scene late in the second act. His role works and he works right back with it.

Another problem of mine was the role played by Hilary Duff. Her role is supposed to be slutty, but instead it comes off as unrealistic. I don’t know if she does a great job at playing a slut, but she can’t play a Middle Eastern worth of dog-shit. Her accent is so shakey in some scenes that she sounds more like Hilary Duff than a Middle Eastern woman.

And unlike the role of Melissa Cherry in “The Onion Movie,” Hilary Duff goes along with being the slut that everyone thinks she is. Melissa Cherry denies numerous times throughout the flick that she doesn’t use the mouth and is still a virgin. That is just another reason why these guys have to work on their screenplay. It’s not only degrading to Middle Eastern women, but degrading to Duff.

“War, Inc.” is still a hilarious movie. There are a few dull moments here and there and some parts are really boring, but there is enough jokes to keep me entertained. It isn’t better than last year’s “Charlie Wilson’s War,” but it is better than other war films such as “Redacted” and “Lions for Lambs.”

To procrastinate from writing my “War, Inc.” review…

Tomorrow will be FilmArcade’s five month anniversary. It seems like just yesterday when I bought the domain. I got so mad once the domain wasn’t registered properly so the site was down for a few days. But after I got it to work again, FilmArcade has been nothing but a great success. With our fantastic staff of twenty-three writers, we posted nothing but great and honest reviews, news that you need to know, and some fantastic articles.

I know, it has only been five months, but truth is that I didn’t think that FilmArcade.net would last this long. I always thought that having this site was only a dream of mine that I would never be able to fulfill. Now, I can’t ask for a better dream. We have been getting some pretty damn fine traffic and everything seems to be going great so far. This past month alone, we have gotten some amazing readers. Of course, we get the usual douchebags and spammers that comment, but the one thing that I’ve noticed is that Indie filmmakers always come to FilmArcade.net. You couldn’t come anywhere else. Ain’t It Cool don’t like you unless if you have Michael Bay in your credits. Bloody-Disgusting only likes you if they can be on your cover.

And us? Well, we’re just here, ready to watch a great flick and then tell the world about it.

FilmArcade.net recently got many hits by reporting Megan Fox being nude in “Jennifer’s Body.” Perverts of the world searched us all over the place, and in one day, we received six-hundred views, four-hundred coming from the same people who searched Megan Fox. Of course, they were all looking for pictures, which we didn’t have, but they were taken down too soon so that I couldn’t post them.

I can’t believe how much support we have gotten from everyone lately. Not just from independent filmmakers, who either love or hate our reviews, but from other movie websites as well. The Large Association of Movie Blogs allowed us to post our profile, which gained about twenty new readers. Some of them even pimped us out on their pages. Sites such as GeeksOfDoom and Fatally-Yours have been with us since the beginning, so thanks Dave3, Eve, and Sarah. I also would like to thank Greg B. at The Playground Movie Reviews. If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t even have such diversity with this site. (And did you see some of the movies he reviews? They’re fucking amazingly different.)

Here are just some of the many things that we are looking to do with the site in the coming months

- We already made mention of FilmArcade Movie Events back earlier this month, but they will be going on throughout the summer. If you need a recap, our first event will be June 27, 2008 in Cherry Hill 24. More info as it comes by.

- Months ago when I first started the site, I explored ways to start a forum. Yes, expect a forum in the near future.

- Details are still very sketchy about a FilmArcade podcast which many people have been asking about, but all I can say is that it will not be for a while. Possibly not even this year. But expect it definitely coming.

- FilmArcade and our writers will be at various conventions. No idea if anyone is going to San Diego, but mark your calendars for the weekend of August 22 – 24. I will be at Monster Mania XI with some friends, so if you want to meet up, catch an event, or just hang for a few minutes, give a shout.

- And plenty of more reviews, news, articles, and just plain fun over at the Arcade.

I can’t say enough thank yous. These past five months have been simply amazing. Many people I’ve met along the way, and I will never forget the memories that followed. Thanks to everyone who have came across the site and have spread the word about us. Here’s to another five months!

Kyle Newman, the original director of “Fanboys,” has been called back on board to work on the FINAL CUT (whoopy) of the film.


Are you ready for “DISASTER MOVIE?” Yeah me neither, but at least they got the title right… The film is directed by the same guys that did “Epic Movie” and this year’s “Meet the Spartans.” (Dude, how the hell can these fucking anti-christs manage to make two bad spoof films in one year?) It will be released at the end of the summer by Lionsgate and NOT Fox. Poster is below…

Ewan McGregor will not be appearing in any sequel to “Trainspotting,” if they make one, of course.


Two more people join in on another disaster movie. Elizabeth Berkley and Briana Evigan are starring in “S. Darko.”


Here is the new teaser trailer to Kevin Smith’s “Zach and Miri Make a Porno.” This movie looks pretty damn fine and Rogan and Banks definitely have great chemistry.





Here is the new trailer for the new Coen Brothers flick “Burn After Reading” too.





Sony has said that Tobey Maguire will not be replaced for “Spider-Man” just yet.


James McAvoy, who has been doing GREAT as far as film projects gone, is being looked at by Peter Jackson and Guillermo del Toro to play young Bilbo Baggins in “The Hobbit.”


Here is the new poster for Charlie Kaufman’s hit festival film “Synecdoche, New York.”

It’s just a rumor, but supposedly, Brett Ratner wants to direct “Beverly Hills Cop 4” and a “Gears of War” film.

“The Onion Movie”
2008
***½ out of ****
Director: Tom Kuntz, Mike Maguire
Cast: Len Cariou, Steven Seagal, Sarah McElligott


There are two kinds of news that I make sure that I check everyday – one is movie news, and the other is The Onion/AV Club.

For those of you who have been living in a cave with terrorists, The Onion is a newspaper that spoofs media events. Famous for those articles such as “Drugs Win Drug War,” they have always made the news “fun.” Never did they fail to make me laugh within each article I’ve read. The AV Club doesn’t spoof the news or the media, but instead, it uses comedy while talking about cinema, music, and literature.

For about five years, I’ve been looking forward to “The Onion Movie.” It was originally set to be released back in 2004 or 2005 (I can’t remember), but the project has been in development hell since then. Finally dumped on DVD (to be released June 3), I caught an exclusive look of the film (yeah, bootleg nonetheless, but a damn fine bootleg). Is the five year wait worth it? Oh fuck yeah. It’s so arbitrary that it is so hard not to recommend it. Plus, it is David Zucker’s finest movie since “The Naked Gun 33 1/3” (he acts as the producer).

“The Onion Movie” doesn’t have a specific plot until an hour through the eighty minute movie, but in order to bring all of the characters together, newscaster Norm Archer (Len Cariou) reports on the news. Some of the news that he reports on is a Britney Spears-like celebrity (hilariously played by Sarah McElligott) who displays sexual innuendos in her songs directed to teenagers, war conflicts, hippies, fantasy geeks, and prisoners now living with suburban families due to prisons overcrowding. One in particular that I couldn’t stop laughing at is old people with Alzheimer’s protesting pancakes.

In between sketches, we’re shown commercials for people going out to buy computers (a great reference to Microsoft and Apple), roasts that are very similar to Comedy Central’s programming, Steven Seagal as “Cock Puncher” (no lie), and who to call when you get your penis stuck in a library drop-box. About every third of the film, different movie critics begin talking about the film. Some of the critics are different races, and they demand that they see a normal black and Chinese guy. No one is safe in this movie.

Not even film critics. Honest to blog.

No one will understand why this movie was made. It would have made more sense if it was shot for a TV movie, but I think it is still great on DVD. It’s a damn shame when “The Onion Movie,” sent to direct-to-DVD, is better than most of the shit that is out in cinemas right now. It is hilarious and random, but to explain why would be a waste of time. That is why I’m going to say that you shouldn’t see it unless if you read The Onion, because only if you read The Onion, you are the only ones that will understand The Onion.

But for those of you who don’t understand The Onion, there must be a reason as to why you don’t. Is it because you never read The Onion, or is it because you just don’t care about it? The Onion’s tagline is “The World’s Finest News Source.” What these guys do is actually portray the “news” in a way so that it is entertaining and still objective at the same time. These guys even manage to portray how negative the news usually is. By using comedy, a news source like The Onion draws in a bigger audience, even if the news is usually fictional.

And they all know what their audience wants. In the film, The Onion is a television show that EVERYONE watches. They watch it because they know that they can get entertained. The Onion’s partner company advertises “Cock Puncher” during every commercial break so you can see a kickass flick. They never have any of those stupid fucking ads at the bottom of the screen (until this film takes place). They know that you would get just annoyed by it.

The only problem that I had was the clichéd ending, but it is your usual happy ending (which goes with my theory on The Onion). Anyway, if you love The Onion, you will love “The Onion Movie.” I know I loved it.

Now I’m in the mood for some chocolate chip cookies and Hawaiian Punch…

Sex in the City

The film will follow the continuing adventures of the series four main characters - Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda - as they live their lives in Manhattan four years after the series ended. Stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, and Cynthia Nixon are all on board to reprise their roles, while the film will be written and directed by Michael Patrick King, who executive produced the original television series. Additionally, Chris Noth, David Eigenberg, Evan Handler and Jason Lewis will return as the women's love interests. Academy Award-winning actress Jennifer Hudson ("Dreamgirls") has also joined the cast of the film and will play Carrie Bradshaw's assistant, a new character to be introduced in the film.

The Strangers

The horrifying events that took place in the Hoyt family's vacation home at 1801 Clark Road on February 11, 2005, are still not entirely known. Champagne. Rose petals. Candlelight. It was supposed to be a night of celebration for Kristen McKay (Liv Tyler) and James Hoyt (Scott Speedman). But after leaving a friend's wedding reception and returning to the house, everything had collapsed for the happy couple. Then came a 4 a.m. knock on the door and a haunting voice. Is Tamara here?

The Foot Fist Way

Self-control, courtesy, perseverance, integrity and an indomitable spirit – those are the basic tenets preached by the proud but stern Master instructor Simmons at the Concord Tae Kwon Do Studio. There "the way of the foot and the fist," a.k.a. the definition of the featured Korean martial art, turns boys into black belts and suburbanites into great warriors. That is, until Simmons' seemingly perfect life starts collapsing when he discovers his wife having an affair on him. Twice. A chance to resurrect his life by battling his hero - the 8-time undefeated champ and star of the "Seven Rings of Pain" trilogy, Chuck "The Truck" Wallace - gives Simmons' life purpose as he winds up on a wild, comic journey that will take him from egomaniacal bluster all the way to becoming the stand-up man of his delusional dreams.

Bigger, Stronger, Faster

In America, we define ourselves in the superlative: we are the biggest, strongest, fastest country in the world. We reward speed, size and above all else: winning – at sport, at business and at war. Metaphorically we are a nation on steroids. Is it any wonder that so many of our heroes are on performance enhancing drugs? From the producers of "Bowling For Columbine" and "Fahrenheit 9/11" comes a new film that unflinchingly explores our win-at-all-cost culture through the lens of a personal journey. Blending comedy and pathos, "Bigger, Stronger, Faster" is a collision of pop culture, animated sequences and first-person narrative, with a diverse cast including US Congressmen, professional athletes, medical experts and everyday gym rats.

M=3

F=2

When “Sex and the City” first premiered, I was a young, twenty-something woman, fresh out of college, and newly single. I was never interested in fashion and absolutely never talked about my sex life with my female friends. The truth was I did not really have any female friends. Yet, like many single women my age, I followed the show on TV. I found the main character of Carrie Bradshaw to be impossibly selfish and attention seeking; yet, I still tuned in week after week to see the latest upheaval in her life. Why? Well, partially because I found so many of the characters to be likeable. Mostly, I watched because I enjoyed the quick wit and stupid puns. Though Carrie’s bon mots could sometimes make me gag, there was still more than enough good writing in every episode to satisfy any viewers’ appetite.

That said, I was a regular viewer of the show, but I was never one of those women who identified with the lives of the women. Even when I was a redheaded, acerbic lawyer who actively pushed people away, I never once would think to say, “I’m such a Miranda!” No, for me, the show was all about the writing. I saw nothing of my life on that screen. But here it was, the movie based on that same show I saw nothing of myself in and now I was a single thirty-something woman living in a big city. And having seen repeats on cable, I finally realized there were a lot of elements of my life in those shows. Whether I could admit it or not. The truth was I wasn’t sure how I was going to react to the movie.

I arrived early to the theatre and soon found that almost every show was sold out. I go to the movies every Friday night right after work and I have never seen a theatre so jam packed. On top of that, never in my life have I seen so many women and gay men in a place with that tacky a color scheme.

As a single woman, I always feel a little weird when I buy one lone ticket to romantic comedy or a chick flick, but I never felt as odd as I did buying a ticket today in my ratty sweatshirt and high top sneakers. Apparently, I had not just bought a ticket to a movie; I had also wandered into an event filled with skirts, magnificent shoes, and perfect hair. The lobby was overflowing with the smells of popcorn, hairspray, and just a touch of bitch. The AC was not doing its job very efficiently, and as a couple hundred sweaty women waited impatiently in line to buy their diet cokes, I couldn’t help but wonder when a slap fight would break out. The women trying to cut to the front of the line had no one to wink at or flirt with, and so ladies not accustom to waiting, were doing just that. The tension in the lobby was more than a little scary. If any man had wandered onto the scene and made a fat joke, he likely would have been “Goober”ed to death.

Soon though, drinks were bought and seats were found, and several hundred women and gay men were eagerly fussing over their cell phones and chit chatting, waiting for the movie they had been waiting for. The show had only been gone a few years, but you wouldn’t know it from the reception it got once the familiar theme song briefly tinkled its way out of the speakers and into the crowd. For me there was no hype to live up to or expectations to suffer. No, I was just there to have a little fun and to share the experience of watching a familiar TV show with a roomful of people. In many ways, I got what I expected out of the experience.

The movie picks up 5 years after we left off with Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) still together and happily in love with John “Mr. Big” Preston (Chris Noth). The two are moving in together and starting to plan a defined, shared future together. All seems right with the world, but as anyone can tell you, lives, especially those of any television character, get messy really fast.

For those uninitiated in the show, there is a small recap during the credits to catch you up to speed. Even without the assist, it isn’t hard to follow the story from beginning to end. You may wonder what all the references to the rollercoaster of Big and Carrie’s relationships are all about, but you do not really need to know the specifics. If you have seen a television show, then you know that outside the Cleavers, no TV couple has a happy, even keel relationship. Other than some background info, the story is universally accessible to newbies and fans. The themes of the film track the themes of the show, and even add in a few new ones that come with aging.

Is it a good movie? Sort of. The movie is not any better or worse than the show was. Like the show, there are funny moments mixed in with the poignant and sad ones. Like life, you are up and you are down, and the only thing that makes that journey bearable is the people who travel with you. That was the theme of the show, and that is the heart of the movie as well. The laughs are fewer than one would think, but the schmaltz is thankfully kept to a minimum. Although the story moved, it did feel a little long and drawn out. Still, the movie had ample opportunity to run off the rails, yet it managed to stay interesting.

Basically, if you liked the show, you will like the movie. “Sex and the City” is not so much a comedy as it is a painful look at how people affect your life for better or worse. If you are looking for an hour and a half of laughs, then this isn’t the movie for you. And that isn’t only because the movie is two hours and fifteen minutes long. No, it is because this movie isn’t a comedy. It is just the story of some women, their friendships, their neuroses, and their desire to get what they want out of life, if only they knew what that was. The show explored the search for what the women wanted. The movie explores how those women realize what that is and how to keep it in their lives.

Though sometimes the movie is charming, overall it is a rather modest and reserved incarnation of the show. It is a pleasant way to pass the time, but I wouldn’t say you need to see this in the theatre.

“The Machine Girl”
2008
**** out of ****
Director: Noboru Iguchi
Cast: Minase Yashiro, Asami, Kentaro Shimazu


I am beyond wordless right now. I just turned off one of the most amazing movies that I think I will forever see, and I can’t speak. Last month I talked about how overrated “Ichi the Killer” is, correct? Not even the fucking god that Takashi Miike can make a film like this one. This film beats “The Signal,” “Funny Games,” and “Cloverfield” as my favorite movie of the year. The film that I am going to tell you about is appropriately titled “The Machine Girl.” It is also in the lead as the best movie title of the year.

What I am about to tell you will amaze you. What I am about to tell you will shock you so much that you’ll have to add it to the top of your NetFlix queue. I can guarantee you that you never saw a drill bra before. Is it at the top yet?

Ami’s (Minase Yashiro) family is synonymous with the word “death.” Her parents committed suicide after being blamed for killing respected people, and now it is just her and her younger brother Yu (Ryosuke Kawamura) on their own. After Yu and his friend are killed by Ninja-Yakuza members, Ami is determined to hunt each and every one of them down and kill them all. In the process of getting to the person who killed her brother, Ami later becomes tortured by the Yakuza family, and gets her arm chopped off in the process.

She goes back to her brother’s friend’s house to be found by his mom. (Asami) His mom, already distraught be the death of her son, promises to join Ami for revenge of the two boys. They build her a machine gun that can take place of her arm (think of Ash from “Army of Darkness”) and go Yakuza hunting. Perfect…

This film was easily inspired by many revenge flicks. I had so much fun just saying “Ooh that was from THAT movie.” It pays a homage to “Death Wish,” “Kill Bill,” “Old Boy,” “Ichi the Killer,” “Army of Darkness,” “Planet Terror,” and “Joint Security Area.” Hattori Hanzo swords are everywhere. New ninja devices pop up like Angelina Jolie’s children. I never even knew that chainsaws can attach to people’s legs, but if shotguns can attach to arms, why the hell not?

The film isn’t without the plot-holes, but the film completely ignores them. Director Noboru Iguchi decides to give his audience what they want to see – a machine girl killing the shit out of some Yakuzas, and he succeeds in it perfectly. He sets up one-dimensional characters by giving them all just a bit of back story, and after he is finished telling us their stories, he puts them in the same room as a ninja. The film has some great deaths. I saw two things today that I never thought I would have ever seen before – drill bras and ninja stars that cut into anything. And no, Butters does not appear, if that is what you were wondering.

This is Minase Yashiro’s first film, and I welcome her to the insane world of Japanese cinema. Not only can she act, display emotion, and kick some serious ass, but she is a lot of fun. She adds a lot of the great moments in the film by improvising some scenes. Plus, she’s hot to boot. I don’t think I ever saw such a hot Asian woman kick so much ass since… well… Maggie Q. This girl has a great long future ahead of her, mark my words.

The film was directed by Noboru Iguchi. I haven’t seen any of his previous films, but all I have to say is that Asians have a twisted taste in both humor and horror. They look at violence as being as nothing but fun and corny. And that is the way that I looked at the end of the film. Fucking drill bra…

So anyway, “The Machine Girl” is freaking brilliant.

Director: James Bryan

Writer: Garth Eliassen

Cast: Jack McClelland, Mary Gail Artz, James P. Hayden, Angie Brown, Ken Carter, David Barth, Tom Drury

Code Red DVD / NTSC Region 0 / Full Frame (1.33:1) / 83 min. / Extras: All new intro by CKY's Deron Miller; New hour-long featurette with cast and crew directed, produced, edited and photographed by original director James Bryan; Vintage 15-minute talk show appearance; Audio commentary with director Bryan; Bonus commentary with CKY's Deron Miller, star Mary Gail Artz and director Bryan; Poster and still gallery

Ah, the early '80s, the hay-day of the American slasher flick. Close cousin of the Italian giallo. Violence, gore and teenage nudity were the staples and the setting usually camp or a nice secluded rural area. Kids happily tromping around, getting high, having sex and getting killed by a (usually) masked or unseen murderer. The Friday the 13th franchise, The Burning, Sleepaway Camp and so-on and so-forth. We all know and love them. Not terribly original but usually fun in some way and something about each one sets them apart. This is not the case with Don't Go In the Woods... Alone!. (READ MORE!)

Transformation: The Life and the Legacy of Werner Erhard
Year: 2008
Director: Robyn Symon
Stars: Werner Erhard
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Studio: Screen Media Films
Running Time: 77 Mins
Review Rating: 3.5 Stars
Official Website: http://www.transformationfilm.com/



Transformation: The Life and the Legacy of Werner Erhard have played in festivals such as the Atlanta Film festival and the Palm Beach Film Festival. The documentary focuses on the life of Werner Erhard, who was the pioneer of the multi-billion personal growth industry. Transformations: goes into his life that he lived when he became an icon in his field during the 1970’s and 1980. The film also will give an insight into his way of thinking and the controversial program that he developed known as the est that would make him a pioneer. The film also features interviews from his peers, experts, family members and his doubters.

Transformation: The Life and the Legacy of Werner Erhard is a very interesting look at one of the controversial figures of the personal growth industry. Warner Erhard was an interesting subject for a person who is not familiar with him, like myself. Director Robyn Symon does a good profiling this person, as I was interested in his story. He makes the focal point of the film about Erhard's EST training program, which is good for the person, like myself, who was not familiar with this person. Symon spends time interviewing various people who went thought his training, which provided some interesting insight into the positives and negatives on it. He also gets the critics perspective from it, so that both sides are represented. If there was one problem that I had with EST training part of the film was that it didn't focus on the training's origins. It would have been nice to have known, as it would have given a better understanding to what he was trying to accomplish.

What makes this very interesting was the fact the Symon spends time on the personal life of Warner Erhart. That's what made this film for me. He does a good job exploring the troubles in his life. The stories were very interesting which really went into the person from the personal problems in his marriage to the media painting him as a very bad and greedy person. It made the film very interesting, as you got to know the subject. You also see that he not that bad person that people paint him out to be. Symon also focuses on the people who were influenced by him. He does that so you know that his legacy and various works still lives on today.

Transformation: The Life and the Legacy of Werner Erhard is a very interesting look at the controversy and person that created one the most controversial training programs ever.

DVD Extras:

Behind the Scenes Featurette
Extended Footage of Erhard Delivering the est Training


Crime Fiction
Year: 2007
Director: Will Slocombe
Stars: Jonathan Eliot, Christian Stolte, Amy Sloane
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Studio: Anthem Pictures
Running Time: 81 Mins
Review Rating: 2 Stars
Official Website: http://www.crimefictionpictures.com/



Crime fiction played at the 2007 Slamdance Film festival. The film is about a copy editor who always dreams of becoming a big time author. He is upset that his girlfriend is getting a lot of publicity for her work and his agent dumped him after his first book got negative reviews. Things get worse for him when his girlfriend ended up dead under the bedroom window in his apartment. Soon this inspires him to write a pulp novel that he thinks will make him famous, but this lead him into a world of murder, betrayal, and unthinkable fortunes.

There are some festival films that are so enjoyable to watch and there are that are not, this film here was not enjoyable for the most part. Writer/ Director Will Slocombe didn’t have it for this film. First the negatives, the main reason why this film wasn’t good, was the fact that the main character in the film was uninteresting. The main character comes off more of a depressed geek than a credible author. It was one of those characters that you were waiting for something awful to happen to him. Also, the screenplay wasn’t that great even though the last twenty minutes was good, which I talk about in a bit. There were too many gaps in the film in which I felt nothing was happening with the development of the main character, as the film became boring.

There are also a few positives with the film. For instance, the film was shot very well, like a pulp film, but without an interesting main character. Also, what saved this from being totally bad was the last twenty minutes or so. I was expecting the movie to end predictably but I have to give Solcombe credit, he goes for the total opposite here. Even thought it didn’t save the film for me, still that turn was good to save it a little bit.

Crime Fiction is a dull film that won’t make anyone’s bestsellers list.

DVD Extras:

Trailers:
Crime Fiction
9/11: Pane to War
Ghost Encounters
Dead Moon Rising

Photos
Press Kit.

“The Mist”
2007
**** out of ****
Director: Frank Darabont
Cast: Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden


“He's a fucking kid. He's supposed to be stupid. What's your excuse?” – Thomas Jane, “The Mist”


“The Mist” is mad. It is mad because you sons of a bitch keep paying money for shitty horror flicks. I don’t blame them. Remember the last time that there was a good Stephen King movie? Me neither. (In all seriousness, the last good one was “The Shining,” and I’m speaking of the Kubrick version.) Before “The Mist” was released, “Hostel 2,” “Halloween,” “Captivity,” “The Invasion,” and “30 Days of Night” roared through the horror cinema circuit. All of those weren’t well received by critics.

About a month later after “30 Days of Night” was released, “The Mist” was dumped right into theaters. It felt the box office failure that “28 Weeks Later,” “Bug,” and “Grindhouse” felt, but that wasn’t so surprising. You try being released next to “No Country for Old Men” and “Enchanted.” The film was in and out like that. It was like that no one ever heard of it. I never had time to see it either, but I admit – if it was still out a few weeks after it was dumped, I would have been there.

But I was there come DVD time. I sat out front of my video-store opening day for an hour just to get the film… and “The Kite Runner” and “Shrooms,” but mainly “The Mist.” I knew I was going to like it. Just the tagline alone, it told me that I was going to love it. After I got it, I came home, put it on, and soaked in Stephen King goodness.

It is the best Stephen King movie in twenty-seven years. Quote me on that.

“The Mist” starts when David Drayton (Thomas Jane) and his wife (Kelly Collins Lintz) and child Billy (Nathan Gamble) witness the aftermath of a storm the night before. David, Billy, and the next-door neighbor (Andre Braughner) jump in the car to go to the grocery store to stock up on some supplies. On the way there, they realize that there is a lot of thick mist in their way. And then, out of nowhere, people come running in the grocery store, screaming that there is something in the mist. They lock the door and board up the windows with bags of dog-food.

And I didn’t even say the beginning of it…

But I won’t. I want you all to go into “The Mist” expecting nothing and coming out feeling weird. This is not a mistake. You are supposed to feel like this. The final hour of “The Mist” is something that you should know nothing about. It is nothing short of uncomfortable. The dark and dreary setting gives us no hope for any happiness. Frank Darabont works so hard to create a claustrophobic setting. Just staring outside of the grocery store gives the audience the sense that something bad is going to happen.

The characters are believable also, even if they do come off a little bit too over-the-top at times. Thomas Jane, who is still really underrated, completely owns the main role. It’s not enough for everyone to recognize his name, but it’s a start. Laurie Holden plays a completely believable teacher with some ghosts of her own. Toby Jones sparks up the entire film by playing the nerdy grocery store bagboy. Underneath of him, however, is an ultimate badass gun-firer.

The heart of the film comes from Thomas Jane’s character and Marcia Gay Harden’s religious zealot Mrs. Carmody. Harden comes off annoying and someone that you would just want to kill. I know that when I say “the heart of the film” I really don’t mean that it is the heart of the film. But the two going head-to-head is nothing short but brilliant rivalry. Jane and Harden try to get people to decide which side are they on. Of course, the religious people are on his side, but everyone who knows who Mrs. Carmody really is (a looney) they all side with Jane. It is until that final half-hour that it really takes a turn to who wins the once innocent game of rivalry.

The film’s most coveted secret is the ending. I won’t spoil it, but merely because it doesn’t sound the least bit impressive on paper. You have to see it to believe it. It plays out much better while watching it and trying to deal with your own emotions than it is when you read it. I’ll give you nothing but a hint – get ready to feel disappointed. If you are a happy fellow, you will hate the ending. If you are like me, this will be your new favorite movie.

“The Mist” is exciting. It’s cynical, mad, dark, bleak, uncomfortable, and sometimes annoying. But giving it the chances, what would you like to have – the good horror film that is all of the above, or the bad horror film that is all of the above?

I don’t blame you either.

MGM wants more “Rocky” sequels? Christ, before 2006 I thought Sly was dead.


Rainn Wilson is cast in “Transformers II” as a college professor. Maybe this film can be good.


Here is the new Red-Band trailer for “Step Brothers.” It actually looks funny compared to the first trailer.




Zack Snyder’s new film, “Watchman,” may be three hours long, and may be an hour and a half longer on DVD.


This can possibly be the best news ever. Quentin Tarantino, my all-time favorite director, has announced that his next film will be a war film entitled “Inglorious Bastards,” and if all goes well, it will be screened at next year’s Cannes Film Festival!!!


Here is the new trailer for “Choke,” based on the great Chuck Palahniuk book (yes, I read too).




No one likes Jim Sturgess as an actor as much as I do, so here I will post a poster for his brand new flick “Heartless” which has yet to be filmed.



Is Peter Parker being recast? LatinoReview.com reported earlier that Patrick Fugit and Michael Angarano may be playing the guy. Eh, I liked Angarano in “The Forbidden Kingdom,” but Christ did Fugit annoy me in “Wristcutters: A Love Story.”

The trailer for Sword & Cloak Productions second feature, the Lovecraftian Ghost Story - HOUSE OF BLACK WINGS - is now available to view online:

MySpace:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=34571106
http://www.myspace.com/houseofblackwings

YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDDvwJD_k7c

After a tragic act of violence cuts short her music career, Kate Stone is returning to a city full of ex-fans and ex-friends. Taking shelter with her last friend, a struggling artist named Robyn Huck, the two women work to restore the aging courtyard apartment building Robyn has inherited. But a terrible secret infests the venerable structure, and soon Kate will be haunted by horrific dreams, sinister apparitions, and the sounds of something moving in the walls. She will be dragged into a confrontation not only with her own dark past, but the unspeakable nightmare that lurks beyond the walls!

House of Black Wings is a character-driven Lovecraftian ghost story. Inspired by the social drama of Polanski's The Tenant and Larry Fessenden's Habit, the surreal images of Argento's Suspiria and Fulci's The Beyond, and the pervasive menace of Asian ghost stories, it is a nightmare of urban paranoia, loss of identity, and the blurred line between creativity and madness.

Writer/Director: David Schmidt, Director of Photography/Art Director: Clare Martin, Producers: David Schmidt & James M. Collins II, Sound Designer: Nathan Oberman, Music by Chris Fuller. Starring Leah Myette, Katherine Herrera, Michael Klug, Tirf Alexius, Amy Harmon, James Polak, Jen Albert, & Deborah Webb.

HOUSE OF BLACK WINGS is currently in the final stages of sound design and scoring. It will be submitted to festivals for Fall of 2008.

If you'd like more information on the movie, or to schedule an interview, please email David Schmidt at: dschmid@luc.edu

Man! I was so frackin’ lucky to see this before I flew out of LAX on Friday. I was afraid I would have to wait a whole week to see this one, and it brought back bad memories of when I was forced to wait to see some of the movies I desperately wanted to view. Fortunately, I managed to get off of work early and haul ass to the nearest movie theater to view a movie 19 years in the making before I had to rush off to the airport.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” is another in a long line of films listed as “the most eagerly awaited film in movie history!” However, what the “Star Wars” prequels and “The Matrix” sequels taught us (whatever you thought of them) is that the expectation of something tends to be far more exciting than the actual finished product. That always works against movies like these because we are just soooo excited about them, and they never meet our expectations. Ever since I saw “Star Trek V – The Final Frontier,” I have done my best to keep my expectations at bay. It is way too easy to be disappointed by a movie that you restlessly wait for. I came into the latest adventure of Indiana Jones just wanting to have a good time, and you know what? That’s exactly what I got!

The newest Indiana Jones movie is not without its flaws, as is the case with all the sequels in this franchise. The script at times is rather convoluted, and it’s a little hard to figure out what the whole deal with the crystal skull is (a second viewing may end up rectifying that). It's no “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” but to expect it to be is ridiculous. The first adventure of Dr. Jones is such a classic and held so far up in the pantheon of movies that it is impossible to beat it in terms of its entertainment value and freshness. Just seeing Harrison Ford put on that fedora one more time was more than enough for me.

This movie moves Indiana Jones to the 1950’s, and the Nazis are all gone (just as well). In their place are the Russians, the villains of choice back in the 1980’s until US relations with them improved. Indy and his pal 'Mac' George McHale (Ray Winstone, the voice of “Beowulf”) have been captured by the Ruskies and taken over to Area 51 in New Mexico, the warehouse where the US government hides all the things it wants no one else to see (The Ark of the Covenant makes a cameo appearance). This leads to the first big action sequence that gets the movie off to a quick start and has those “whoa” moments that I am always looking for in action movies. Indy’s final escape from the area does seem a bit ridiculous, but these movies deal with death-defying actions, and these are stories that take a place in a reality somewhat removed from our own.

Dr. Henry Jones Jr. (his real name as we learned it from “The Last Crusade”) still teaches archaeology courses at the university he has always taught at, but soon finds himself dismissed as he is under suspicion of being a Communist. Back in the days of the Joseph McCarthy era, you were guilty until proven innocent. Time has certainly for Indy and his university friend Dean Charles Stanforth (Jim Broadbent from “Hot Fuzz”), and they have both lost friends over the years like Indy’s father and Marcus Brody (played by the late Denholm Elliott, who is appropriately acknowledged here years after his death). Just as Indy heads off to go around the world, he is visited by Mutt Williams, a 50’s greaser played by Shia LeBeouf. Mutt informs Indiana that his mother has been kidnapped, and that she needs his help to get to this Crystal Skull. This artifact promises to give one power when it is returned to its rightful place, an immense power that the Russians want every bit as much. It is a little bit hard to describe what the big deal is about the Crystal Skull in words, and it is likely that I will be viewing this movie again soon to be sure.

The Russians are led by Irina Spalko, and she is played with utter relish by Cate Blanchett. She is a cold, steely woman whose interest in psychic powers and education in said subject proves to be more dangerous than anyone can realize. Like all the villains in this franchise, she lusts for ultimate power and will get it at any cost. Of course, her lust and greed will lead to her eventual undoing. You know how these Indiana Jones movies go. Irina may not be the greatest villain in this franchise, but she is still a formidable foe as embodied by Blanchett, one of many actresses out there who can play just about anybody.

The movie features great stunts that, even if they are not entirely believable, still generate a good deal of excitement. Some are ridiculously over the top, like Shia’s character swinging along vines with the monkeys. But then again, not everything in this movie is meant to be completely believable. Spielberg said he would not rely so much on CGI effects in this movie, but you do notice them when you see them, and it does take away from the action a little. In the end, the movie keeps up at a pace which never lets up so that you can catch your breath.

Many have said that Harrison Ford is just too damn old to play this part, or to be in any action movie at all. This was probably brought up more when he did “Firewall” which ended up doing poorly at the box office. Frankly, I am sick of all this talk about him being at the AARP age level. Ford certainly doesn’t look his age, and he still handles the action scenes with a gusto that you never doubt. No one will ever surpass Ford in this iconic role, and I would hate to see anyone else try. God forbid Michael Bay tries to remake any of the other movies here!

But one of the real masterstrokes that Spielberg and Lucas did hear was bring back Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood, Indiana’s love from “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” It is so great to see her again as she matches wits with Indiana at every step of the way. Marion also turns out to be Mutt’s mother, and this leads to other revelations that I invite you to see for yourself. There is a line in the movie where Marion and Indy are in the back of a truck trying to escape, and she asks Indy why his other relationships didn’t last, and Indy says:

“Because they weren’t you Marion.”

This points the obvious of how the other heroines of these movies didn’t even come close to matching the wonderful presence of this character, and Karen continues to be such an immensely engaging presence in this and other movies she does. Her character is not like the whiny bitch Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw) from “Temple of Doom,” nor is she the underwritten cold character played by Allison Doody from “The Last Crusade.” It is clear that everyone involved knew that they could do no worse than to bring Karen back. I am very glad that they did.

The big surprise I got from watching this movie was the performance of Shia LeBeouf. I expected him to be an annoying sidekick a la Short Round from “Temple Of Doom,” and essentially give us the same performance as he did in “Transformers.” That was not the case at all as he perfectly slipped into the mold of a 50’s greaser out to save his mother. He matches wits well with Harrison Ford as they journey together to other countries on a search and rescue mission. Thus, we get another one of those scenes where we see a map and a red line showing where our heroes are going, silhouetted against the planes and other transportation they use to get to their final destination. Shia is very good here, even if he does end up on the verge of some Wesley Crusher-like moments.

Ray Winstone is also very good here, as he is in just about everything he does. At first, I started to think that his character was somewhat unnecessary, and was basically there as a foil for both Indy and the plot of the movie. However, Ray’s performance helps to make some of the more implausible moments in the film actually believable as he sucks us into what his character wants, and he convinces us of this as much as he does Indiana Jones.

I have to give the filmmakers some credit as they took their iconic hero and placed him in another period of time. To have Indy fighting the Nazis would have been overkill, and we already know what happened to them. Having Dr. Jones go up against the Russians showed that at least the filmmakers were trying something a little bit different instead of just giving the audience the same old thing. There are a lot of moments where Spielberg and Lucas pay homage to the earlier Indy movies as well as to other Spielberg movies like “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.” There is a big sci-fi element to this movie in particular which was not as big as in the other movies, but these movies have always indulged in the world of fantasies be it real or imagined.

There is actually a surprising lack of snakes in this sequel, but one does make a memorable cameo appearance. The main animals to fear here are red ants who, even in their CGI form, are terrifying man and woman eaters. We even worry about them devouring the bad guys. Even if the angry red ants do look a bit fake, they still left me unnerved like all the dangerous animals in an Indiana Jones do.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” is by no means a perfect movie, but then again, we had no right to expect it to be. None of the sequels in this series were perfect either, but whatever flaws they had were eventually redeemed by their entertainment factor which was far above most other action films you see. The only movie in this franchise that has any right to be called perfect is “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” and nothing is ever going to top that. Ever.

I would probably rate this particular sequel just right above “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.” While that one may have been a little more entertaining, it also had a first half and characters that drove me up the wall. It doesn’t have the same amount of heart and character as did the 1st or 3rd movies in this franchise, but those characters still remain true to their origins and they keep us engaged in the action. In the end, it is pointless to get too critical on the Indiana Jones movies, let alone this one. To take it apart limb from limb would take the fun out of it, and these movies are really made for the moviegoers more than anyone else. No one should ever come into any movie expecting it to be a classic, and it certainly goes with this one.

In terms of the summer movies released so far, “Iron Man” is still the movie to beat. “Indiana Jones 4” is not able to beat it out there, but “Iron Man” is a strong movie for more or less the same reasons that “Raiders of the Lost Ark” was when it was first released. They both brought a freshness and energy to their genres that had felt somewhat dormant, and they were created by filmmakers who cared about the stories and the characters that they were bringing to the screen. “Iron Man” will eventually lead to a number of sequels, most of which will probably not hold a candle to the original. While we want some of the same old stuff, we also want something new that brings a new edge to what we saw before. With the latest adventure of Indiana Jones, it was business as usual, and that was more than enough for me.

And stop telling me that Harrison Ford is too old to be doing movies like this because frankly, I don’t give a shit!

*** out of ****

Welcome to Reviews from the Horror Chamber. I am your chamber keeper, Anthony Thurber. Here’s a couple of quick news (N) and thoughts (T)

(N) According to bloody-disgusting.com, Gutterballs will be released by TLA releasing via its Danger After Dark label.

(T) This is definitely great news, as this film was a fun throw back to the 80’s

(N) Reunion of Terror is set to have its world premiere June 8th at the Milwaukee County Massacre Film Festival.

(T) Again, I’ll tell you that you have to see this movie and don’t worry this film will find distribution but for now, check this film out when it hits your local film festival.

That’s it for news and thoughts. Before I get to this weeks reviews I’m letting you choose which film, I should review in the June 1st edition of Reviews From the Horror Chamber. All the titles here are titles that I haven’t seen or haven’t had time to review. The choices are:

April Fool’s Day (2008)
Botched
One Missed Call (2008)
Teeth
Zombie Strippers (yes that’s the title of the movie)

Well at 9:15 PM Eastern time, I have a three way with Botched, One Missed Call and Zombie Strippers with two votes a piece and Teeth with one vote. If it’s still tied after this Wednesday at 5pm, well then I will break the tiebreak and I really don’t want to do that so please vote.

You can vote at the official page of Reviews From the Horror Chamber at http://www.myspace.com/reviewsfromthehorchamber, the official Myspace home of Film Arcade at http://www.myspace.com/filmarcade and my personal Myspace page at http://www.myspace.com/anthonythurber

Paper Dolls
Year: 2008
Director: David Blair, Adam Pitman
Stars: Adam Pitman, Gill Gayle, Kent Harper
Studio: Badfritter Films
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Review Rating: 5 Stars
Official Website: http://www.myspace.com/paperdolls06

Paper Dolls has been on the festival for a while. The film has played in a couple of festivals already. The list includes, Nevermore Film Festival, Fright Night Film Festival and the Eerie Horror Film Festival where it won Best feature, Best Director, and Best Actor.

Paper Dolls is about two friends who embark on a road trip to Canada. They recently graduated from high school where they plan to have fun. Their trip is going is to plan until they take a detour to the wilderness. They are then attacked by a group of unknown group of creatures that lurk in the wilderness that take one of them. Soon the survivor of the attack begins an all out war with these creatures in order find his friend.

Paper Dolls is a thinking man’s horror film. It has the feel of such great psychological horror films like The Blair Witch Project and The Last Broadcast. Directors, David Blair and Adam Pitman does a good job focusing on the characters and supernatural occurrences during the film. This could have easily been boring for the first half of the film but the directors go a great job directing their actors and making the story interesting. The performances in the film were very good. The film has a very solid lead performance by Pitman. He really played his character very well, as this was a complex role to play. The film also has a couple of very good supporting performances from both Gill Gayle and Kent Harper, as they both brought something to their characters that made their characters interesting. Even though this film had a couple of action scenes, they were directed very well, as it helped bring in the suspense for those scenes

The screenplay, which was written by Blair, Pitman and Adam Stillwell was excellent. They did a great job building and developing the characters in the film. It really helped this become very good, as this was more of thinking horror film than a blood and guts film. The story, they conceived was great, as it was suspenseful in the way that you wouldn’t think. It’s that way because there is a point in the film, which I won’t describe here, since not most people haven’t seen it yet. But it makes you wonder about a certain character in the film and his state of mind. To me that was very good, as it’s one of those things makes a twist in the story very mind-blowing and entertaining at the same time. Another thing that was good about the screenplay was the investigation part of the film. That part really felt like something you see on one those cop procedural shows which made it interesting.

Paper Dolls is a very chilling psychological horror film that will keep you guessing after you’ve seen the film.

Upcoming Screenings:

June 10th: Seattle True Independent Film Festival 8PM at the Jewel Box Theater

Johnny Sunshine: Maximum Violence
Year: 2008
Director: Matt Yeager
Stars: Shey Bland, John Patrick Mccauley, Eric Halsel
Studio: Dissolve Pictures
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Review Rating: 3 Stars
Official Website: Http://www.myspace.com/johnnysunshinemovie

Johnny Sunshine: Maximum Violence takes place in amidst of a zombie apocalypse where there is no law and order and the wealthy surrounded themselves with wall around them. The films a porn star who enjoys killing anything in her path and filming it on videotape for her producer, who in turns sells the tape and makes millions on it. Soon her producer starts to hatch a secret plan when sales of he films start going down. He then, hatches a plan with a police officer who wants out of the city and be in with the wealthy. Soon, the two plan to create the greatest snuff film ever made and this time, Johnny Sunshine is the victim.

Johnny Sunshine: Maximum Violence is one of those films that was good to watch but at the same I thought it could have been better. Director Matt Yeager does a good job, as the direction was not bad for that type of budget or script that he had for his disposal. The direction of the actors was surprising good, as the performances kept my interest with this film. One of the main reasons this film was enjoyable was the performance of Shey Bland. She really makes this Johnny Sunshine character come to light, by making the tone of her voice dark, especially in the narration. It really reminded me of those dark characters that you see in comic books.

The screenplay written by Sean Michel Argo was average at best. The main problem I had with it was it really didn’t have much story to it. It felt like a film that focus on how violence that it can cram in. Also I thought the inserts featuring one of the character talking like it was a confessional tape, which kind of disrupted the flow of the film, but still it least it had a purpose for the film. There are also a couple of positives with this film. I liked how the film takes shots at how society neglected these people who didn’t have any money or and how people are just so arrogant with it’s citizenship subplot. Also, I liked how the main character was nothing but a badass chick, as that right there will keep your attention.

Johnny Sunshine Maximum Violence is a guilty pleasure flick that filled with hot babes and a badass heroine that will kick your ass all over the place.

Johnny Sunshine Maximum Violence will be released on DVD on August 5th from Brain Damage Pictures.

Also, you can check out my review for Frontier(s) here on the site at

If you’re a filmmaker and interested in having your horror film reviewed in the horror chamber, you can reach the Chamber Keeper himself at horrorchamber@filmarcade.net or if you have any film in any genres that you want Film Arcade to review, send us an email at screeners@filmarcade.net.

Also, don’t forget to add the official myspace home of Reviews From the Horror Chamber at http://www.myspace.com/reviewsfromthehorchamber.

I’ll be back this Sunday with a new edition, which will include my review of George Romero’s Diary of the Dead and the movie that you’ve chosen for me to review. Until then, have a frightening day

An agent for actor and director Sydney Pollack says the Academy Award winner, director, and producer has died. He was 73.

Agent Leslee Dart says Pollack died Monday afternoon at his home in Pacific Palisades after a long fought battle with cancer. She says Pollack was surrounded by family.

Pollack appeared in some of the films he directed, including the gender-bending hit "Tootsie," which starred Dustin Hoffman. Pollack won producing and directing Oscars for "Out of Africa" in 1985.

Palme d'Or (Golden Palm):
"Entre les Murs" ("The Class") directed by Laurent Cantet
An evocation of contemporary society as seen through a year's worth of events in a Paris junior high school.

Special 61st Anniversary Award:
Catherine Deneuve for "Un conte de Noël" ("A Christmas Tale")
Follows a family who becomes increasingly contentious and dysfunctional until an ill relative brings them together over the holidays.
Clint Eastwood for "Changeling"
A mother prays for the return of her kidnapped son. When her prayers are answered, however, she begins to suspect the boy who comes back is not her child.

Grand Prize:
"Gomorra" directed by Matteo Garrone
An inside look at Italy's modern-day crime families. Based on a book by Roberto Saviano.

Best Director:
Nuri Bilge Ceylan for "Three Monkeys"
A family is dislocated when small failings blow up into extravagant lies. They battle against the odds to stay together by covering up the truth, but it only leads to additional hardship.

Best Screenplay:
Jean Pierre and Luc Dardenne for "Le Silence de Lorna"
A resolutely naturalistic portrait of a young Albanian woman having second thoughts about a cold-blooded immigration scam.

Jury Prize:
"Il Divo" directed by Paolo Sorrentino
The story of Italian Prime Minister Giulio Andreotti, who has been elected to Parliament seven times since is was established in 1946.

Camera d'Or (First-Time Filmmakers):
"Hunger" directed by Steve McQueen
The last six weeks of the life of the Irish republican hunger striker Bobby Sands.

Best Leading Actor:
Benicio Del Toro in Steven Soderbergh's "Che"
A biopic about the life of Argentine revolutionary Ernesto 'Che' Guevara.

Best Leading Actress:
Sandra Corveloni in Walter Salles' and Daniela Thomas' "Linha de Passe"
A story about four brothers from a poor family who need to fight to follow their dreams.

The second "Mummy 3" trailer will be attached to "Wanted." I won't say my actual opinion of the trailer once it is released, unless if you come to the first FilmArcade.net movie event June 27.


"Abominable," the surprise hit from 2006, will be having a sequel.


"Plan 9 From Outer Space" will be remade... can you hear how excited I am? It will be released 09-09-2009, just in time for my birthday... can you hear how excited I am? (AND I REALLY LIKE THE ORIGINAL)


Horror-101 and HorrorYearbook report about a softcore porn film called "Cleavagefield." Classic.


"Midnight Meat Train" has been moved up three weeks, to be released next to "Hellboy 2" and "Journey to the Center of the Earth."


"Goosebumps" will be coming to the big screen sometime soon.


There is a rumor going around that Robert Downey, Jr. will play a young Hugh Hefner. I love the thought.


Marvel executives aren't planning to release any R-rated films.

aka Ils

Writer/Directors: David Moreau, Xavier Palud

Cast: Olivia Bonamy, Michaël Cohen

Anamorphic Widescreen (2.35:1) / 5.1 & 2.0 Surround / French & Romanian with English Subtitles / 77 mins. / Extras: Making of; Composer featurette; The Torture of Clementine; Trailers

Clementine and Lucas are a happy couple hanging out in their rural home just enjoying each other's company. With Lucas fast asleep, Clem decides to stay up a little later but when she finally climbs into bed, she hears something outside. She wakes Lucas up to investigate and they catch someone stealing her car. The thieves get away but that is only the beginning of the couple's night of terror. (READ MORE!)

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”
2008
*** out of ****
Director: Steven Spielberg
Cast: Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett


Steven Spielberg is easily the most influential director living today. By the mid-80s, he was considered a god in cinema. He was the man that invented the blockbuster by releasing a film that scared people so much that they wouldn’t swim in the ocean for years. He’s been nominated for countless Academy Awards for his work in his films, and won two for films that are considered his all-time best. He has created films for all types of audiences – family (“E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial”), action-geeks (“Jurassic Park”), science-fiction fanboys (“Close Encounters of the Third Kind”), war-buffs (“Saving Private Ryan”), and history nerds (“Munich”).

But the one film that no one ever thinks of when his two-worded name comes up is the remake of the 1953 classic “War of the Worlds.” I’ll never forget that I saw it opening day. It opened my eyes to a different kind of film – a monster film. Call “Jaws” and “Jurassic Park” monsters and I’ll shank you with your eyes wide opened. “War of the Worlds” was so underappreciated back when it was released in theaters that I actually heard people comparing the damn movie to “Batman Begins.” Of course it wouldn’t have beaten “Batman,” but a week after that, they compared it to “Fantastic Four.” I’m sure you can figure out which one was appreciated more then.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” will be the “War of the Worlds” for 2008. It’s not because it is a good movie and it is going up against other fine movies this summer, but because it will be compared to another film that definitely has the hype and stars – “The Dark Knight.” Yes, both films are totally different, in size and star power (and let’s face it, Harrison Ford isn’t all that young anymore), but someone will find a way to compare the two. It will be a race between the two this summer. The one that is liked the most will come out the winner. I can see it not being this one.

But it isn’t a bad film. Actually, it is quite a good one. It’s not great, but it is a lot of fun for a seven dollar movie. There are plot-holes here and there but none of which are surprising, especially to those who are familiar with the “Indiana Jones” films. But “The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” begs the question if we really needed another “Indiana Jones” film, and if we did, why now?

The film begins with a pointless opening that features a little car race that has nothing to do with the film. Then it opens to a bunch of Soviet soldiers pulling two men out of a car. The first one to get out is Mac, (Ray Winstone) and the second one is Mr. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) himself. Colonel Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) forces the two in the same government warehouse from the first film, where Irina and Mac double-cross Jones into finding an extra-terrestrial. Long story short, he is told by a Greaser named Mutt (Shia LaBeouf) that his old colleague (John Hurt) has been missing after looking for a Crystal Skull somewhere in Peru. Guess who has caught up to him?

One of the best parts of the film is also one of the worst parts of the film. Like the films that came before “The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” the action sequences aren’t believable, but they did a good job at entertaining. Needless to say, so do the action scenes in this film. The few car chases in the film are outstandingly choreographed (although, a few of the bits here and there are unrealistic and really deserved to be cut from the film).

Steven Spielberg doesn’t let us down with the characters. He explains why Indiana Jones hasn’t been around by setting some back story to his character. The reason why he is so old is because he has been doing the same exact stuff that he has done from the first three movies. He explains to the characters about how he has been on many missions through caves. He explains about being kidnapped a dozen of times. Sometimes it feels like that we have been listening to the same story.

Cate Blanchett isn’t exactly the type of villain that we could have used in this film. She isn’t even villainous. She gets her men to do everything for her, which kind of let me down (yeah I wanted to see her and Harrison Ford go at it, fist to fist). But believe me that nothing is better than the accent that she gives to the character. For an English woman, she can do a Russian accent like a pro. Now if I do a Russian accent, I will sound Jamaican. Thank god I’m not an actor, eh?

But the biggest problem with the film is Shia LaBeouf. It’s not that he is a problem, but being that he is only here for looks and because Uncle Steven decided that he was perfect for the role is just a reason to draw in more women and more money. Best of all, Uncle Steven began advertising for Shia LaBeouf’s new movie “Eagle Eye,” in which Uncle Steven is listed under the writing and producing credits. Not surprising the least bit. He was also on the producing credits for “Transformers” too, which is probably the only reason LaBeouf was cast. Word on the street is that he will be the main character in the sequel. Damn it…

Harrison Ford, like Bruce Willis last summer in “Live Free or Die Hard,” is in some good shape, but doesn’t really deserve to be doing this film. If it is for the comeback or for the money, he will definitely be finding success in both. Congratulations Harry. Now go break your hip.

The question that is being begged here is whether or not this film is needed. The answer to the film will vary between different people. On one end, if you love the first three, especially “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” you will at least like this one. Then again, if you guys were expecting a fantastic summer flick like the one that kicked off this summer, you will be sadly disappointed. Don’t expect too much, and you should be fine.

Then again, if you still aren’t interested, you can just go see “Iron Man” for the fourth time this summer. That movie is great.

Welcome to the 132nd Edition of my blog. This week I have focused on quite a bit of independent films and I have made a lot of use of the IFC channel. Now it is time to get your queues from Netflix and Blockbuster and add to it with some of these.


Tango and Cash (1989): Andrei Konchalovsky directed this buddy cop film which stars Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell as the title cops who are from different parts of L.A. and are quite different but when framed for murder by a drug kingpin, played by Jack Palance, they must come together in prison where they are tortured. This is an action film but a pretty good one as long as you can suspend your disbelief for a while. DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES star Teri Hatcher plays Tango's (Stallone) wild sister. Stallone is actually quite enjoyable in this movie.


The Sea Inside (2004): This is part 1 of 2 in my Javier Bardem series where we go to something a little more realistic, maybe because the story is true, story of a real-life Spaniard named Ramon Sampedro who was a quadriplegic who fought a 30-year battle in favor of euthanasia which garnered a lot of mixed opinions. This movie might be frowned upon by some but we must remember, it is a true story and this was what Sampedro wanted. He was not out for some big cause but he did not feel much value to his life in his state and wanted to die peacefully while inspiring others in the process. The scene where it shows his becoming paralyzed was quite painful to watch. This movie begs many ethical questions of what is right and what is not and up to you to decide.


The Little Princess (1939): Walter Lang directed this story of a brave girl finding her missing father and that brave girl was none other than Shirley Temple. Shirley Temple plays Sara whose father leaves her at a rigid boarding school while he goes to Africa during the Boer War. All Sara has now is her imagination and when she learns her father died she refuses to believe it and sets out to find him. This movie was remade in 1995 which was really quite different though I really liked that remake but this one did start it all. Maybe in time, Shirley will make a comeback to the big screen like Gloria Stuart in TITANIC.


Onibaba (1964): We now go to Japan into the 14th Century where a mother and daughter-in-law are left to fend for themselves so to make money, they kill Samarai to sell their armor and weapons. There is not a whole lot to say about this film, though it is quite dark and once again raises questions on ethical dilemma where the mother is the more extreme of the two. It is also quite creepy and not for all tastes.


The Invisible Boy (1957): This is part two of my Robby the Robot series who remains overlooked among the great actors, perhaps because he is a robot and is not taken very seriously. Here, we center around a dedicated scientist who really wants his son to be more into his work and when the super computer works with him, he can do everything and he becomes friends with Robby and they must stop the super computer from taking over the world. I can't really explain it that well. Something that is for our entertainment and not as good as Robby's debut in FORBIDDEN PLANET which was featured last week.


El Santo and Blue Demon vs. Dr. Frankenstein (1974): Here is another entertaining sci-fi film. For those of you who do not know who El Santo and the Blue Demon are, they are legendary masked wrestlers from Mexico and many of the Mexican wrestlers, mostly these two, made many of these movies where they took on someone. They were Mexico's answer to people like Superman and Batman except these guys were real people. Here, they learn that Dr. Frankenstein and his henchmen are kidnapping women to bring back his deceased wife and when a friend of theirs is kidnapped, they must find her before things get worse. There is also some good footage of Mexican wrestling and some other Mexican wrestlers when they have their match. Yes, they usually have matches in these movies as well including one they just had to do before going to save their friend. Take this for what is worth.


Moments in Music (1950): This is my short film for the week which was just a bunch of clips of people singing in movies like Judy Garland, Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, and many others. Pretty entertaining, probably something of a Hollywood advertisement.


Michael Clayton (2007): Tony Gilroy made his directorial debut. George Clooney stars as the title character who is an attorney known as "the fixer". He has a big gambling problem and is divorced with a son. He then comes across a case of a senior partner going off the deep end, played very well by character actor Tom Wilkinson. Tilda Swinton is also good as an attorney on the case. This was a very suspenseful film and something good for 2007.


Sid and Nancy (1986): Alex Cox directed this bleak biopic on Sex Pistols bassist Sid Vicious and his groupie girlfriend Nancy Spungen. Gary Oldman and Chloe Webb played these roles to perfection and were in fact these people. It mostly depicts the destructive relationship between the two and Sid's attempts at a solo career which was not to much success. Look for Courtney Love as one of their friends. This is clearly not a movie for everyone. Some may know what happened in the end but I won't give that away as it is not hard to find and for people who want to see the movie. It is very dark and depressing but very well performed, especially by Gary Oldman, one of my favorites.


Picture Bride (1994): I end with this foreign film of a Japanese girl in 1918 Japan is sent to Hawaii in an arranged marriage to a much older man. She must then endure the harsh working conditions and get along with her new husband who bought her from Japan. This is a very good movie on the human spirit and very moving. Legendary Japanese actor Toshiro Mifune has a great cameo as a silent film director coming through town. Kayo Hatta both wrote and directed this very moving film depicting what it was like in that time period and something we take for granted in this modern time period.


Well, that is it for this week. I had four foreign language films in this one which is quite rare. I have my connections segment back but there really weren't many that I could find like usual. Leave your comments, mention what you like and dislike and stay tuned next week.


-Sylvester Stallone (Tango and Cash) and George Clooney (Michael Clayton) were in the 2003 film Spy Kids 3-D

-Kurt Russell (Tango and Cash) and Cesar Romero (The Little Princess) were in the Disney movies The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes in 1969, Now You See Him, Now You Don't in 1972, and The Strongest Man in the World in 1975.

-Kurt Russell (Tango and Cash) and Tilda Swinton (Michael Clayton) were in the 2001 film Vanilla Sky

-Kurt Russell (Tango and Cash) and Gary Oldman (Sid and Nancy) were in the 2002 film Interstate 60

-Jack Palance (Tango and Cash) and Cesar Romero (The Little Princess) were in the 1968 film Madigan's Millions. Note that Jack Palance was an uncreditted voice dub.

-Jack Palance (Tango and Cash) and Michael O'Keefe (Michael Clayton) were in the 2001 tv movie Prancer Returns

-Teri Hatcher (Tango and Cash) and George Clooney (Michael Clayton) were in the 2001 film Spy Kids

-Michael Jeter (Tango and Cash) and George Clooney (Michael Clayton) were in the 2002 film Welcome to Collinwood

-Michael Jeter (Tango and Cash) and Chloe Webb (Sid and Nancy) were in the 1993 mini-series Tales Of the City

-Clint Howard (Tango and Cash) and Xander Berkeley (Sid and Nancy) were in the 1995 film Apollo 13 and the 1996 film Barb Wire

-James Hong (Tango and Cash) and Xander Berkeley (Sid and Nancy) were in the 1999 film Spawn 3: Ultimate Battle

-James Hong (Tango and Cash) and Cary-Hiroyaki Tagawa (Sid and Nancy) were in the 1991 film The Perfect Weapon, the 2000 film The Art of War, the 2001 film The Ghost which is not to be confused with Ghost, and the 2007 comedy Balls of Fury

-Brion James (Tango and Cash) and Sydney Pollack (Michael Clayton) were in the 1992 film The Player

-Shirley Temple (The Little Princess) and Judy Garland (Moments in Music archival footage) were never in anything together but Shirley Temple was one of the first people considered for the role of Dorothy Gale in the Wizard of Oz which ultimately went to Judy Garland.

-Tom Wilkinson (Michael Clayton) and Gary Oldman (Sid and Nancy) were in the 2005 film Batman Begins.

-Chloe Webb (Sid and Nancy) and Cary-Hiroyaki Tagawa (Picture Bride) were in the 1988 comedy Twins

-Xander Berkeley (Sid and Nancy) and Cary-Hiroyaki Tagawa (Picture Bride) were in the tv movies L.A. Takedown in 1989, Netforce in 1999, and Not of this World in 1991

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

The newest Indiana Jones adventure begins in the desert Southwest in 1957 – the height of the Cold War. Indy and his sidekick Mac (Ray Winstone) have barely escaped a close scrape with nefarious Soviet agents on a remote airfield. Now, Professor Jones has returned home to Marshall College – only to find things have gone from bad to worse. His close friend and dean of the college (Jim Broadbent) explains that Indy's recent activities have made him the object of suspicion, and that the government has put pressure on the university to fire him. On his way out of town, Indiana meets rebellious young Mutt (Shia LaBeouf), who carries both a grudge and a proposition for the adventurous archaeologist: If he'll help Mutt on a mission with deeply personal stakes, Indy could very well make one of the most spectacular archaeological finds in history – the Crystal Skull of Akator, a legendary object of fascination, superstition and fear. But as Indy and Mutt set out for the most remote corners of Peru – a land of ancient tombs, forgotten explorers and a rumored city of gold – they quickly realize they are not alone in their search. The Soviet agents are also hot on the trail of the Crystal Skull. Chief among them is icy cold, devastatingly beautiful Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett), whose elite military unit is scouring the globe for the eerie Crystal Skull, which they believe can help the Soviets dominate the world... if they can unlock its secrets. Indy and Mutt must find a way to evade the ruthless Soviets, follow an impenetrable trail of mystery, grapple with enemies and friends of questionable motives, and, above all, stop the powerful Crystal Skull from falling into the deadliest of hands.

Postal

Unemployed and frustrated, Dude (Zack Ward) is intent on finally making some money and running away from the hell hole that has become his life. In his feeble attempt to get back on track, he reluctantly joins his uncle Dave (Dave Foley) in a get-rich-quick scheme involving the stealing and reselling of the scarce but highly sought after OKrotch-y-Dolls, the must-have toy of the season.

War, Inc.

"War, Inc." is a political satire set in Turaqistan, a country occupied by an American private corporation run by a former US Vice-President (Dan Akroyd). In an effort to monopolize the opportunities the war-torn nation offers, the corporation's CEO hires a troubled hit man, played by John Cusack, to kill a Middle East oil minister. Now, struggling with his own growing demons, the assassin must pose as the corporation's Trade Show Producer in order to pull off this latest hit, while maintaining his cover by organizing the high-profile wedding of Yonica Babyyeah (Hilary Duff) an outrageous Middle Eastern pop star, and keeping a sexy left wing reporter (Marisa Tomei) in check.