Hey everyone, and welcome to the Spring Cleanup edition of Indie Scene. I want to bring up a little something before I start getting into the actual reviews. A few days ago, I reported in my section K.I.S.S. News that Uwe Boll’s new film “Postal” wouldn’t be premiering in as many theaters as it was supposed to premiere in. Anthony Thurber brought it up in his Reviews From the Horror Chamber column and said that it was censorship at its worst. And I can’t say any more that I agree. I, for one, am not an Uwe Boll hater. I think that his last flick “In The Name of the King” was pretty decent. But Boll hater or not, you can’t begin to stress the fact that there are worse films out there compared to what “Postal” can be. Cameron Diaz, Patrick Dempsey, and, soon, four ladies that won’t stop fighting will all be crowding theater circuits. “Postal” was dropped from its one-thousand five-hundred theaters schedule to only FOUR theaters. It’s bad enough that the film is already getting shit for it without having people watch it, but the censorship blows me away. But anyway, here are the films for this Spring Cleanup edition of Indie Scene…


"The Cellar Door”
2007
** out of ****
Director: Matt Zettell
Cast: James DuMont, Michelle Tomlinson, Heather Sconyers


After Anthony’s positive review for this film in the Reviews From the Horror Chamber column, the director looked to get a second opinion… by me. It may have been a wrong move, but I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t have a problem with getting free DVDs to review. Even if they’re bad movies, I don’t have a problem with watching your flick. And as far as this one goes, it is a bad movie, but it isn’t as bad as some of the movies that I’ve seen that have gone Direct to DVD (ahem… “Yeti”), but it isn’t even close to competing with a film like “The Murder Game.” Though it could have been much, much worse, I can only classify it as another sequel to “Hostel” (though it really isn’t, there is a LOT of torture… seriously). A woman (Michelle Tomlinson) finds herself locked in a cage one night in the cellar of a vicious, violent, and savage man. (James DuMont) She must break out of the cage before she becomes his next victim.

“The Cellar Door” starts off really, really bad. And I’ll admit that it changed in the second-third. Once we begin to get a feel for the claustrophobic space that Zettell and his friends provide for us, the audience will become amazed by the dark setting that we are provided with. The villain, played by James DuMont, is probably the best part of the movie. He succeeds in all lengths to be an actual villain. He shows his true feelings throughout this third and the audience feels bad for the guy. Compared to the ones from “Hostel,” this guy is like a goddamn pro. But the third-half isn’t nearly successful. It’s clichéd and very anti-climatic. It just gets stupid, and it feels like we’re just watching a few people killed to see the sake of blood. “The Cellar Door” is a bad movie, but it isn’t like that there aren’t a few good things about the flick.


“Superbadazz”
2008
* out of ****
Director: Z. Winston Brown
Cast: Randy Clark, Michael Harris, Shaun May


Boobies… that’s all that you can think about while watching “Superbadazz.” I picture one day winning the lottery once I turn eighteen and then walk right into a strip club, with hot nude girls surround me while they beg for money. Z. Winston Brown has a fetish with weird looking strippers, apparently. The only lap-dances this guy must have gotten were lap-dances from one-legged women. “Superbadazz” is so close at being given a BOMB rating, and if it weren’t for a few slight chuckles, it would have been given a BOMB rating. The one other thing keeping me from actually giving the movie a BOMB rating is that I got to laugh at the fact that the dumbasses that worked on this film spelled “badass” wrong.

“Superbadazz” tells the tale of two gangster fools who start a strip club in their parents’ basement. Their strip club can easily compete with the circus, because all of the characters in the film feel like that they are coming out from the circus. The hardest part about this is that these two gangsters have to keep it a secret from their parents, their dad played by a wannabe James Earl Jones. “Superbadazz” doesn’t have many laughs, except for the scene when one of the characters goes into the strip club and starts to pay strippers with pennies. The acting is just as bad as the plot, which is flawed and very predictable. And then the big payoff at the ending is cheaper than a pair of socks. “Superbadazz” is one of the single worst direct to DVD flicks that I’ve seen, and the fact that I’m featuring the film on Indie Scene makes this article smell bad.


“Blind Eye”
2006
** out of ****
Director: Mark McNabb
Cast: Levi Oliver, Joel Hookey, Roddy Piper


One of the first films I saw this year was “In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.” The movie, while it is still one of the better films of the year, has some of the shittiest editing (done by Uwe Boll, of course). The action is obviously faker than the tits on Paris Hilton and the dialogue was forced. “Blind Eye,” the directorial debut by Mark McNabb, isn’t too good. Actually, it isn’t good at all, but it was better than the other two movies that I reviewed this week. It is a half cop-flick, half-character driven flick. Although, I really did like it better when it was called “Gone Baby Gone,” I think that I would rather watch this many more times compared to “Superbadazz.”

Two cops, one bigger than the other, are out to look for a missing girl. That’s the basic plot. I won’t get into the other characters’ stories because they are somewhat important to the story and then I would be giving away spoilers. But “Blind Eye” works as a character study rather than a cop drama. To tell you the truth, I just got bored by the cop scenes. The acting, aside from the acting done by Roddy Piper, was actually pretty decent. The final product isn’t terrible, but it isn’t good either. “Blind Eye” came out last Tuesday and if you like cop films, you should check it out.


Well that is it for this week’s edition of Indie Scene. The next edition will be in three weeks, so if you visit next week, you won’t find one from me. Thanks for everything guys, and stay tuned!

Welcome to Indie Scene, everyone. I’m you host TonyD, still. This week was supposed to be the big “Spring Cleanup” edition, but there was a problem – I never had time to clean anything up. So we’re saving that for next week. This week, I’m going to write about a few other things that I’ve seen. I don’t know how often I get people asking me if I seen a certain movie, and when I say yes, and they ask my opinion, I give it to them straightforward. Hell, I’ve given my opinion so much on a certain movie released this year that I hated that people have dubbed me with no taste. But it turns out that whenever I recognize titles that I love, it seems like no one knows what in the hell I’m talking about. The three films I’ll be talking about aren’t all necessarily Indie, but they are very small films that didn’t make as much money as they should have. You may have heard of them and might have even watched them. Or maybe, you haven’t even heard of them. I’m here to give you a look at three flicks that I love that I could swear that you MUST watch. If you haven’t, what the hell are you waiting for?


“Green Street Hooligans”
2005
**** out of ****
Director: Lexi Alexander
Cast: Elijah Wood, Charlie Hunnam, Claire Forlani


There is a scene towards the end of a film called “Green Street Hooligans” where it has come to the final battle. Elijah Wood runs through the streets of England to meet up with a gang of football (soccer) hooligans while Terence Jay’s “One Blood” plays in the background. These guys operate the GSE, or the Green Street Elite, a bunch of followers from the West Ham United. They are to battle it at with their rivals, Millwill. It takes them time for Elijah to understand what standing his ground means, but by the end of the film, he and the audience are completely aware of the meaning. I caught “Green Street Hooligans” a few days before it was released on DVD in June of 2006. The film, directed by Lexi Alexander, is nearly perfect. I put this at number two on my top 2006, (back then, when I did my top films, I included films as they were released on DVD) and don’t regret a thing. I haven’t seen this in quite some time, which I really need to do (but still have about ninety movies sitting around in my house). It’s fan-fucking-tastic. If you haven’t seen it yet, I don’t know what the hell you are waiting for because it has been out longer than I could count.

“Hooligans” tells the tale of Matt Bruckner, (Elijah Wood) a Harvard student that was just expelled for supposedly selling drugs. He goes to England for a bit to spend time with his sister Shannon (Claire Forlani) and her husband Steve. (Marc Warren) Steve introduces Mark to his brother Pete, (Charlie Dunham) a man who is in the Green Street Elite. They are (like I said earlier) a bunch of West Ham United followers who occasionally get into fights with other firms. When one firm won’t back down, it’s time for these guys over at the GSE to stand their ground, to not run away, and to never give up.“Green Street Hooligans” would be considered a tale that I would find despicable, but it turns out that I actually really like it. The fight scenes are brilliantly choreographed, and the soundtrack is brilliant. I can’t begin to tell you how much heart this film has. If there was a problem with this film it would be that it is too short. I could spend all of my time watching these guys go from town to town kicking people’s ass. The film is a fantastic flick that you can’t get just anywhere. Director Lexi Alexander will be bringing back her talents to the new “Punisher 2” flick. If that is even half as good as “Hooligans” was, I’ll shit.

“Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang”
2005
**** out of ****
Director: Shane Black
Cast: Robert Downey, Jr., Val Kilmer, Michelle Monaghan


Around the same time that I watched “Green Street Hooligans,” I rented a film called “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.” Honestly I knew nothing about the film before I saw it. I didn’t know who Shane Black was (which turned out to be the guy that wrote the “Lethal Weapon” movies), neither did I know of Robert Downey, Jr. (the guy who is now known by everyone as Tony Stark), Val Kilmer (the guy from “Heat”), and Michelle Monaghan (the movie that some are putting me through hell just to watch). The first time I watched this flick, I didn’t get much from it. It was confusing in a few parts and the plot seemed to be going everywhere. But after the first watch, I decided to give it a second, third, and fourth watch. I started to love the film more and more after each watch. “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang” became slightly less confusing since then. The flick is still funny after watching it for the umpteenth time. There is no excuse if you haven’t seen this film. It’s on Cinemax sometime every week.

Harry Lockhart (Robert Downey, Jr.) is a petty thief, who, while running from the cops, ends up getting a role as a private detective in this movie. Without knowing he is just being used so Colin Farrell will get less money, private detective Gay Perry (Val Kilmer) takes him under his wing to show Harry the ins and outs of being a private detective. Perry and Harry investigate for Harry’s childhood crush, (Michelle Monaghan) who’s sister was recently killed. “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang” is hilarious. It is filled with many one-liners that you will LOVE. This is one of the rare films that use pop-culture events that are actually funny. References to Colin Farrell, Britney Spears, Drew Barrymore, “Lord of the Rings,” and other big Hollywood personas flow through the film. This was my first introduction to Robert Downey, Jr., who plays one of the funniest roles of his career. “Iron Man” may show a more mainstream side of his, but “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang” shows his real talent. It’s a shame that this movie didn’t get more attention during its theatrical release, because “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang” is a knockout.


“Film Geek”
2005
**** out of ****
Director: James Westby
Cast: Melik Malkasian, Tyler Gannon, Matt Morris


“Film Geek” was a film I looked forward to long before I saw it. Just by the title, it is realized that I am just the perfect audience for the film. Here, our hero’s name is Scotty Pelk. (Melik Malkasian) He has nothing to look forward to his life but film, his job at the video-store, jerking-off in the mirror to his hot neighbor, and his website ScottysFilmPage.com, which garnered zero hits. (If you type that into your address bar, you will come to the film’s site.) After he gets fired for “annoying the customers,” he has nothing left of him. He meets a girl reading a David Cronenberg book, (Tyler Gannon) and is determined to win her over, while trying to find a job that will replace his old job at the video-store and getting some hits on his site.

“Film Geek” is one of the best single-serving indie films that I have ever seen, maybe even the best one. It’s funny, which isn’t surprising. The character of Scotty played by Melik Malkasian is literally perfect as an actual film geek. He’s perfect as a geek in general. In one of the many great scenes in “Film Geek,” he shows off his encyclopedic knowledge of film by listing films that have the word “heaven” in it. It’s like he is a real movie database. James Westby does a great job behind the camera, also. The last third of the movie is where everything takes a sudden turn. It’s like being stuck in a David Cronenberg flick. “Film Geek” is a real entertaining gem. I don’t see anyone else making a film like this, do you?


That is it for Indie Scene this week. Yes, next week will be Spring Cleanup, but after that, Indie Scene will be taking a break for three weeks in preparation for summer jobs and a lot more stuff for FilmArcade.net. Have a great week and stay classy.

Hey all, and welcome to yet another edition of Indie Scene. I know I’ve been gone for two weeks due to being pretty damn busy, but I’m back, and ready to kick some ass. This time around, I’m featuring three films directed by the same director. His name is Adam Deyoe. He decided to send me screeners for three of his films – “Yeti: A Love Story,” “Street Team Massacre,” and the headliner, “The Mental Dead.” By his IMDb credits, it seems like he really likes to work with Will Ferrell (he is involved with the production of “Step Brothers” and finished “Semi-Pro” a while back). Does Adam Deyoe make the Indie Scene cut? Read further…


“Yeti: A Love Story”
2006
BOMB out of ****
Director: Adam Deyoe, Eric Gosselin
Cast: Adam Deyoe, Eric Gosselin, Laura Gascott


If people who only read my Indie Scene articles, you should know that in replacement of a zero star rating, I give the dreaded BOMB rating. The BOMB rating means beyond terrible. BOMB stands for Boy Our Movie Blows, if you didn’t know what it stood for. I have given the BOMB rating to a handful of films – “Alvin and the Chipmunks,” “Freaky Farley,” “Meet the Spartans,” and a few more… but nothing like this film. Oh NOTHING like this film… “Yeti: A Love Story” is without a doubt the worst film that I have seen in my career of reviewing films. Wait no; it is the worst single-serving film that I’ve seen in my life. This won’t only go down as a failure, but a missed opportunity. How many movies of Yetis do you see now? They are the most villainous creatures since mosquitoes! This time around, the Yeti is a homosexual who likes to fuck guys in the cornhole.

I can’t even tell you what the film is about, other than the fact that there is a cult where people sacrificed other people to the Yeti by letting the Yeti hit them from the back with his two-foot crank. Not only is it not entertaining and not easy to sit through, but it doesn’t make any damn sense. And not to mention that “Yeti” is uninteresting. The acting doesn’t impress the least bit and so doesn’t the script. The entire fucking flick is worthless. Does anyone care about horror comedies anymore? It makes me want to scream out, “HEY FUCKNUTS! YOU’RE KILLING OUR GENRE!” The only good thing about “Yeti: A Love Story” is that there are a few hotties here and there, but nothing to get a hard-on about either.


“Street Team Massacre”
2007
** out of ****
Director: Adam Deyoe, Eric Gosselin
Cast: Adam Deyoe, Eric Gosselin, Laura Gascott


“Street Team Massacre” is a massive improvement over “Yeti: A Love Story,” but that’s not saying much. That’s not saying NUTHING! “Street Team Massacre” starts out really, really good. It worked better as a comedy instead of a horror film. Maybe this Deyoe guy should be a comedic director. Maybe I should rethink my statement after watching “Yeti.” Anyway, the film is about two groups of people selling two different kinds of drinks. When one drink has become expired, it causes the drinker to become a zombie-like villain. I’ve told you more about this film than I told you about “Yeti,” you do know that?

“Street Team Massacre” began really great. The first thirty minutes, in my opinion, is Deyoe’s best work in all of his films. He shows the rivalry of the two groups on two sides – one being hilarious and the other being threatening. It works as a great little pissing contest, but it’s a better pissing contest than “Alpha Dog,” and I fucking love that movie. Anyway, once the zombies start to come, the movie falters and comes to a screeching halt. The acting is better than Deyoe’s previous film and it shows actual emotion. Deyoe, as much as I hated his previous film, has a talent at directing. For an indie filmmaker, he does a brilliant job at tracking the camera in some shots. “Street Team Massacre” is a great improvement, but not a great movie.


“The Mental Dead”
2003
* out of ****
Director: Adam Deyoe
Cast: Brie Bouslaugh, Konrad Brattke, Tim Cluff


The best part about “The Mental Dead” is that it is only sixty minutes long. If you can sit through a sixty minute movie, you should be perfectly fine while watching it. It has some stunning direction, and some decent performances by a few zombies, but other than that, “The Mental Dead” is fucking terrible. Oh, and did I mention that the film spun-off to another film? You may have heard of it. It is called “Yeti: A Love Story.” Jesus Christ, you can put the three films together and have a night in hell. Which I did just yesterday. Ahh the memories.

“The Mental Dead…” yeah… what the FUCK about the movie? I don’t even know what was going on. Most of the film is dark, so some of the stuff you can’t even see. However, the direction was literally perfect. That is the reason alone why I’m giving it a star. This Adam Deyoe guy can write a decent movie to save his ass, but when it comes to shooting the movie, he goes Spike Lee and fucking films it perfectly. “The Mental Dead” has some nice little makeup, but you don’t really notice it until the end of the movie. To sum it up, it’s not nearly as bad as “Yeti,” not nearly as good as “Street Team,” but still fucking sucks.


That’s it for this week’s edition of Indie Scene. I’ll return next week with a super-big edition of Indie Scene, where I plan Indie Cleanup. Stay tuned…

Hey everyone, and welcome to another week of Indie Scene. I am your host (?) Tony DeFrancisco. Just a few things that I want to mention before I get on the reviews. After the past few days, I’ve realized that I’ve gotten an assload of DVDs. I’m just going to ask for now that no one sends me any review requests. I got about fifteen DVDs here that I have yet to watch as far as screeners go. Also, Indie Scene now has its very own e-mail address. It is IndieScene@FilmArcade.net. You can e-mail me there and ask questions or send screener requests. Now onto the reviews…


“The Murder Game”
2006
*** out of ****
Director: Robert Harari
Cast: Steve Polites, Katie Sirk, Samuel Klein


“The Murder Game” is one of the better horror flicks I’ve gotten to seen. I’m starting to get the clue nowadays that I can always rely on indie horror flicks to entertain me. Unlike studio horror flicks, indie horror films have a charm to them. People like Robert Harari aren’t paid to make these kinds of movies (and if they are, it has to be very little). People like Robert Harari PAY to make these kinds of movies for you. Not everyone is like Michael Bay and Peter Jackson who happen to get more and more money from studios within a blink of the eye whenever they ask for it. Robert Harari, director of “The Murder Game,” deserves a lot of credit for creating a pretty damn fine horror flick. It’s not that original, but it’s not filled with blood and stupid plot twists either (does a movie like “Hostel 2” sound familiar?)

The story of “The Murder Game” is that a few teenagers break into a self-storage warehouse and play a “Murder Game.” In order to decide who the killer is, someone has to have the queen of spades in a card-deck. Once people really start dying, it becomes a game of truth. In “The Murder Game,” there is very little blood. But for the lack of blood, the film gains more scares. Some of the killing is done off-screen, which always gives a little chill. The biggest problem I had was the “running from the dad” subplot. It’s not that it wasn’t a bad subplot, but it just didn’t go there (though I may be wrong – it seems that the screener I received was infected with “disc rot” and the last five minutes was fucked up and wouldn’t play). “The Murder Game,” though, is a pretty damn fine film. You can buy “One Missed Call” on DVD since this Tuesday. Or you could buy “The Murder Game.” I’d op to go with the latter.


“Road to Victory”
2007
** out of ****
Director: Mike Reilly
Cast: Mike Reilly, Julia Anderson, Poppi Reiner


Ever watch a movie that when after it is over, you think that you really like it, but then the more times you watch it, you become mad… then madder… then you suddenly decide, “What the fuck was I thinking?” Yeah, “Road to Victory” was one of those movies. I thought that I watched a great movie. But after I began thinking about it while watching this review. This movie wasn’t great. I realized there was so much wrong with it that I couldn’t even begin to type EVERYTHING here. Or maybe it’s just me. One of my bosses over at MovieBuffs loves the movie. He did point out the problem of Julia Anderson, which I do happen to agree with. But he loved everything else. The problems start from Mike Reilly himself to the script to the problems with too many sex scenes and not enough nudity.

Elliot (Mike Reilly) has everything going for him, but he takes steroids after getting a concussion from playing in a football game. He falls in love with a stripper, (Julia Anderson) but can she live without him performing sexually? This Julia Anderson girl looks nothing like a stripper. Honestly. She looks like a girl with a clean act. Mike Reilly does a great job with acting, but he gives nothing while writing the script. It plays as a movie on the Lifetime Network (for men, of course) with a mix of dark comedy at times. Yeah, I don’t get that mix either. And as far as sex scenes go, this one has far too many. I understand that many sex scenes aren’t rough and aren’t even graphic (some of them don’t even happen because he can’t get a boner) but there is too many of them. There isn’t even nudity, which could definitely help for the film. Also – if she was so in love with Reilly’s character, why would she go cheat on him behind his back? “Road to Victory” could be much better, but as far as crappy dramas go, this is the least crappy that you can get.


“The Last Request”
2006
*** out of ****
Director: John DeBellis
Cast: T.R. Knight, Danny Aiello, Mario Cantone


I can’t tell you the last time I laughed so hard in a film. Probably since “Strange Wilderness.” It feels so great to say that “The Last Request” is easily one of the funniest films I’ve seen this year so far. The entire film plays out as a mix between an episode of “Arrested Development” and complete satire. And hell, this film rolls out so many TV personalities, Oscar nominees, and Emmy nominees – including Danny Aiello, T.R. Knight, Sabrina Lloyd, Mario Cantone, Frank Vincent, Gilbert Gottfried, and Mary Birdsong. It’s a hilarious flick that I’m sure will make you laugh throughout the entire film.

When Papa (Danny Aiello) names his last request to his sons, they are committed to it. One brother dies trying, the other has to leave the seminary to make it come true. What is it? Marry someone, have a son, and assure him that someone will carry out the family name. It has to be a son though, because according to Aiello, there hasn’t been a lady on his side of the family for many years, and that one was a dyke. “The Last Request” has some hilarious bits of dialogue, including ALL scenes whenever Danny Aiello is on there. He is easily the best part of the movie, firing off one-liners and puns like it is his job. There is not much more to say about the film, though nothing else has to be said but “See it” and “Quickly.”


Well, that’s it for this week. Stay tuned next week for ALL films directed by an indie director (no, I won’t give a name). Thank you for stopping by.

Welcome to another week at the Indie Scene. My name is the same as always, TonyD. For the past week, I’ve been looking for more filmmakers to send their films in to review for Indie Scene. It’s not like I don’t have any more films to review. Hell, I have four editions worth that I still have yet to review. But don’t worry filmmakers, I’ll get to you. If anyone else wants to send in screeners for Indie Scene, e-mail me at TonyD@FilmArcade.net. If you don’t want your film reviewed for Indie Scene, send an e-mail to Screeners@FilmArcade.net. And for promotion for my good friend Anthony Thurber and his Horror Chamber column, if you want to send in a horror film to review, send an e-mail to Anthony Thurber. Thanks again. Now, let’s get onto the films…


“Gutterballs”
2008
**** out of ****
Director: Ryan Nicholson
Cast: Alastair Gamble, Mihola Terzic, Nathan Witte


I didn’t live in the 80s. I was born in the 90s, just after the slash-and-gash genre took its hiatus. Before that, films like “Hills Have Eyes II,” “Silent Night, Deadly Night,” and “Slaughter High” were considered to be the worst in the genre. Shot on such a shitty picture, very dark and very bad, they all had something in common – they were involved with the downfall of horror. After “Scream” came around, everyone suddenly forgot about those days and went on... except for one man named Ryan Nicholson. I haven’t seen his previous works, and until a few days ago, I only heard of the man from an interview on DVDActive, a site that I visit quite frequently. “Gutterballs” is a complete homage of the films back at the end of the era of slash-and-gash. Not only did I get to see the film the way it was intended to be seen (COMPLETE XXX BABY!!!), but the fact that it is so much better in XXX and the fact that very little of you will be seeing it in that version makes me oh, so much happier. Because if this had come to DVD, imagine all of the controversy. “Gutterballs” is the real deal. It’s funny, scary, and completely original… well, at least the killings are.

The very small plot tells of which of two rival bowling teams. When one gets into a fight with the other, the team rapes a member of the other team. The next night, people start dying… in awesome ways that I bet you have never seen before. This movie is a complete awesome ride from start to end. Earlier this year, I saw “Deaden.” In the film’s first five minutes, a baseball bat goes through a vagina. In “Gutterballs,” a bowling pin goes straight up there. More killings follow, including one of the best fellatio deaths that I’ve ever seen. A castration occurs which is right up there with the castration from “I Spit On Your Grave.” In other details, the acting is shit, but the actors made the right move with the shitty acting. When the acting in the film is shitty, it is easy to remind the audience about the shitty movies that came out over the fall of the slash-and-gash. The best part about the film, though, is that the little story never lets down. It keeps throwing twists at you and it never fails to succeed. “Gutterballs” is a whole lot of fun, but I feel that you can ONLY watch the film in its XXX format. How in the pluperfect hell can you WATCH that film if it was rated R?


“Kush”
2007
**** out of ****
Director: York Shackleton
Cast: Bret Roberts, James DeBello, Mike Erwin


“Kush” is a very interesting film. Last year around this time, I put “Alpha Dog” in my portable DVD player on the way to Egg Harbor Township, which is about an hour drive from my house (plus an hour back, which adds up to the two hour running time). There are going to be people, without a doubt, that will compare the two films, and quite frankly, I don’t see why they shouldn’t. Both films are very similar in terms of plot, both films are fun yet really depressing, and both films deal with drug dealing. Whenever a movie involves drugs, it will always be depressing. After “Requiem for a Dream,” I have observed that there is no such thing like “Goodfellas” anymore. People have been telling us that drugs are bad and not to get into them. After “Dream,” it is quite obvious why Hollywood would make films like “Things We Lost in the Fire,” “Candy,” “Alpha Dog,” and “Kush,” a film about how a Kush seller starts getting involved with cocaine, which ends up in dire consequences for his friends and business partners.

While “Kush” is much harder to watch than “Alpha Dog,” it shows many striking similarities. The characters are nearly identical to the ones shown in “Alpha Dog.” While it takes a longer time to get into the actual film, more character development is used and we see a whole different side of some of these kids. Both films take place in the heart of California, and they show the entire side of Los Angeles as partiers and druggies. Many of the drug scenes are hard to watch, but it’s used for impact. “Kush” can also be compared to the last ten minutes of “Requiem for the Dream.” What would you do to get the money that you need for a drug? Selling or using, you need the money, and “Kush” brings up both of those points. In the end, director York Shackleton proves that either way, you lose, but “Kush” is a great realistic story of the real dangers of drugs, and just why to avoid them. Take that, you stupid urban teenaged audience!


“Juno”
2007
**** out of ****
Director: Jason Reitman
Cast: Ellen Page, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner


I went to go see “Juno” before the hype started, and I’m sure glad that I did. I was able to call everyone at school fucking followers and tell them to anticipate these kinds of movies before they come out (also notice I did the same thing with “Across the Universe”). But after watching “Juno” three times (twice in theaters and once on DVD), I had come to the conclusion that in a few years, I just as hell may hate this movie. The hype will sure kill it, especially after being released on DVD. But for now, while it’s still just a bit bigger than most comedies, I can still like it. And it is still retaining its spot on my Top 25. Juno (Ellen Page) is a teenager who gets pregnant and finds a couple in the penny-saver to keep her baby. That’s pretty much it. She battles with the many different choices she has to make in her life, and discovers the real meaning of true love (of course, if there is such thing, which she does bring up by the end of the movie). I know that some of FilmArcade readers have read Royce’s wickedly awesome negative review, but I still think that “Juno” is better than that. Let’s hope it’s not like “Napoleon Dynamite.”

Does Ellen Page deserve her Oscar nomination? Yes. Does she deserve it now? No. The Academy recognized her in “Juno,” but the year before, she starred in “Hard Candy” and did a much better, plus much more disturbing, job. She does a great job with the title character though, almost like she was born to play the role. The biggest problem with the film is the soundtrack. It’s enjoyable first time you watch it because you don’t notice it, but the second and third time? It’s fucking annoying. Most of the songs were by The Moldy Peaches (sung by Kimya Dawson). They are all love songs where they basically repeat themselves. It doesn’t really follow the plot to the actual movie and are useless. In the end of the movie, some people will say that Juno learns her lesson, but like Royce, I’ll have to disagree. Basically, she is still the same person she always was, just a little less sarcastic and a little more loving. But it’s predictable… and by not spoiling anything for you… she has the baby. So, in the end, is “Juno” the best movie ever? No. Is it Academy Award worthy? No. Is it a good movie? Sure. Just don’t listen to anyone who says it is the best movie ever. You’ll be disappointed.


Well that was it for this week. Three films with a perfect four asterisk rating are perfectly fine with me. Make sure you search for all of these films. Next week on Indie Scene, I’ll be reviewing “The Murder Game,” “Road to Victory,” and “Last Request.” Also, UFC WILL BE CANCELLED THIS MONDAY, AS I WILL BE IN PITTSBURGH FOR A HOCKEY TOURNEY. Thank you, and keep reading.

Hey everyone, and welcome to Indie Scene. Before I begin my reviews, I want to begin by bringing up a little thing that went on in my UFC article this Monday. That night, I received a comment by a guy that went by the name David B. He said that he was an admin for FilmCritic.com but kept changing his story. He criticized the site and told me to “bring it on” (whatever that means). Anyway, I just want everyone to know that if ANYONE threatens a FilmArcade writer over an article or review (and especially one that was claimed to be plagiarized, though I looked all around FilmCritic.com and I couldn’t find that article), anonymous comments will be turned off and you would have to also become a member for Blogger in order to post comments, and a police report will be filed (we have ALL of your IP addresses when you log on). Major apologies to Christopher Null over at FilmCritic.com for taking time out of his day to help me. Thank you all, and let’s get on with this week’s edition of Indie Scene…


“Who’s Your Monkey”
2007
*** out of ****
Director: Todd Breau
Cast: Jason London, Kevin Durand, Scott Grimes


I could tell you all of the numerous times where at least a hundred people say I have no sense of humor. I laugh at the most least funniest things (such as a guy dying on the toilet – sorry, but whenever I hear of something like that I can’t help to laugh… that’s how I want to die) and I won’t laugh at things everyone else laughs out. I’m usually considered an outsider, but fuck you if you think I don’t like to laugh. But I have to admit. I got a copy of “Who’s Your Monkey” (formally known as “Throwing Stars” back in Vegas) in the mail and had no idea what to expect from it. With a great cast (some are more well known that others) and a really funny premise, it would seem that it was almost too good to be true. But I kept my expectations low, put it on, and watched it. It isn’t perfect, but I wasn’t expecting it to be. Hell, everything up to the last twenty minutes I was really into.

Four childhood friends (Jason London, Kevin Durand, Scott Grimes, David DeLuise) come together one big night to help one of their friends to bury a body of a drug dealer that he killed in self-defense. Many problems arise, such as each other’s futures. Throughout the movie, “Who’s Your Monkey” introduces many cameos. A memorable one from Wayne Knight is one to go in the books. “Seinfeld” fans are sure to get a kick out of it. Out of the main cast, I have to say that Kevin Durand is my favorite. He reminded me so much of Robert Downey, Jr. in this film. Like I said above, the film is really funny, and the jokes are equally separated into different categories. The biggest problem, though, is the last twenty minutes. Out of the clear blue… well… I won’t give you the ending. “Who’s Your Monkey” was released into theaters March 28, 2008, and is currently playing in only five of them. If you want to see a good and enjoyable comedy before “Harold and Kumar,” “Baby Mama,” and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” check out “Who’s Your Monkey” if it’s playing near you.


“Stupid Teenagers Must Die”
2006
**½ out of ****
Director: Jeff C. Smith
Cast: Jovan Meredith, Ashley Schneider, Devin Marble


“Stupid Teenagers Must Die” has been hailed by horror fans and independent fans alike as one of the best independent horror films of 2007. Expecting a great and really funny horror flick that makes horror films today look like pieces of shit (which, of course, most of them ARE pieces of shit), I went into the film thinking that it was one of the best. It is certainly a decent one, but one of the best? Hell no. I can think of ten other horror films that I’ve seen that came out in 2007 that were much better, including “The Mist,” “Bug,” and “The Girl Next Door.” “Stupid Teenagers Must Die” tells the story of a group of teenagers that decide to hang out at a guy’s house who killed his family and a few others I’m assuming. They decide to summon the spirit of this guy. Then weird shit starts to happen, people start dying, and everyone decides that they are no longer safe.

“Stupid Teenagers Must Die” is supposed to be a homage to the horror films back in the 80s (you know, the ones that would come out after every week), but instead, it becomes a parody of all of them. Many of the jokes are funny, but they are all things that we have all heard before. Many of the things going on throughout the movie are horror movie clichés, including the horny couple (which are LESBIANS) and the stupid preppy girl. But of course, I can’t help but mention that the black guy, played by Jovan Meredith, finally beats all of the stereotypes that most characters that are African American are given in horror films. The worst that I can say about the movie, aside from a few little side things, is that “Stupid Teenagers Must Die” has some really shitty cinematography. Jeff C. Smith, the director, writer, and cinematographer, does two of his three jobs. He failed by making his cinematography so shitty. The picture is almost always shitty, especially when the film is shot during the night-time. But like I said earlier, “Stupid Teenagers Must Die” is better than a lot of the horror films that were released last year, but it isn’t one of the best.


“The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters”
2007
**** out of ****
Director: Seth Gordon
Cast: Steve Wiebe, Billy Mitchell, Walter Day


Have you ever seen a movie that you loved so much that you felt like you had to tell the entire world about after you finished watching it? After I finished watching “The King of Kong” on Sunday night, I must admit that I told every single person I talked to that night. It’s one of the most entertaining documentaries that I have seen since “This Film Is Not Yet Rated,” and it is a topic that everyone can relate to – video games, no matter how addictive or competitive you are, there isn’t a fine line at the end. “The King of Kong” tells the story of a certain videogame – Donkey Kong. It’s a game that very few have beaten, through all of its hard levels, and most people can only get past the third level of the game. Billy Mitchell has held the record of receiving the most amount of points while playing Donkey Kong, also reaching the kill screen for Pac-Man. When an unknown by the name of Steve Wiebe comes along, Mitchell realizes he has some competition.

You can’t really say much about documentaries like this unless if you say that it entertained the hell out of you. I know not many people really like documentaries, but trust me, when you go into a film like “King of Kong,” you might think it is a documentary. Halfway through the film, you’ll forget that it is a documentary and begin thinking that it is a film that you will normally watch. That is what “King of Kong” really is. It’s just fun. It’s the usual underdog story with a twist of reality unleashed into the film. One guy is a scumbag and the other one is a guy that we root for throughout the entire movie. That other guy is the guy that everyone is afraid of, because he is better than the guy. Wiebe beats Mitchell’s score TWICE, but both times were ignored. The first time they thought it was because Wiebe was lying when they checked his machine at home. The second time it was because Mitchell handed in a game that, according to us at home, looked fake. But to everyone else that are his friends? The camera is just fucked up. “The King of Kong” is one of the best documentaries I’ve ever seen. Supposedly, they’re making the movie into a Hollywood film… and supposedly, I heard they’re casting Dane Cook as Billy Mitchell… JESUS CHRIST THAT MOVIE WILL SUCK! (I was kidding about the Dane Cook part, of course).


Well that is it for this week. Next week on Indie Scene, I’ll be reviewing a film called “Kush,” a brand spanking new horror flick called “Gutterballs,” and a great indie flick that was released last year that I bet none of you guys have heard of except for two. Have a great week!

Hey everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of Indie Scene. For starters, I want to bring up one thing today in this entry. Starting on Monday, April 7, in addition to the weekly Indie Scene column, I’m starting another weekly column called UFC: Ultimate Film Champion. The point of UFC, which I will get into more as Monday comes, is so that I can watch movies many people consider to be classics. I originally came up with the idea as I looked at all of the films that I watched this year, and caught that I only liked half of them at the most. So to put an end to all of that, I’ll watch one movie and write a long detailed essay on it. Many of them will include spoilers and a great chance that some of them will give away the ending. I’ll be keeping a secret to what film the first film is (people who know what it is shouldn’t tell), but I can give you a hint – the essay that I’m writing now is my opinion of a movie and its remake, which recently was released earlier this year. Being that only two movies have been remade this year so far and a third coming out next week, it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out. Now onto the reviews before I keep losing track of what I came here to write about…


“The 4th Dimension”
2006
**½ out of ****
Director: Tom Mattera, Dave Mazzoni
Cast: Louis Morabito, Miles Williams, Karen Peakes


It’s hard to review a film like “The 4th Dimension.” No more than thirty-six hours ago I first watched the film and I still don’t know what I think about it. The film is a mix of David Lynch’s “Eraserhead” (and all of his other projects) and Darren Aronofsky’s “Pi” (and all of his other projects too). There are traces to be found from films such as “Donnie Darko,” and some reviews even consider the film to be a remake of “Primer.” But “Dimension” is more difficult than all of the films listed above put together. In what has been advertised as a movie that has a confusing plot and amazing visuals, I can’t say that the advertisers were all very wrong here. It’s so difficult to explain that I’m including the plot summary from the back of the DVD case (something that I NEVER do). Jack (Louis Morabito) is a loser confined to a workbench in an antique shop. When a mysterious woman presents him with a broken antique clock, unexplainable events begin to occur. After finding Albert Einstein’s journal on his still unsolved Unified Field Theory, Jack becomes obsessed with analyzing time and theorizing its connection to his supernatural experiences, his surreal dreams, and his perception of reality, only to lead to the biggest mystery of all…

“The 4th Dimension” is an epic experimental film very in vein to “Eraserhead,” not only by the direction, but by the fantastic emotional acting by Louis Morabito. He plays a man diagnosed with OCD, playing the role like an actual patient with OCD. He takes the role very seriously and never leaves his character, continuing an experiment that would never fail. The biggest fault, in the long run, is that the film is really uneven. It switches back and forth to present time (if you could call it present time) and flashbacks to when Morabito’s character was a child. When the film keeps switching back and forth, the film becomes more of a drama than an experimental film, and when it acts like a drama, it loses the amazing visuals the experimental part has to offer. But hell, it might just be me. It took me a long time just to get into “Eraserhead,” and after three watches, I’ve respected it a hell of a lot more. Maybe I may need to watch “The 4th Dimension” a few more times in order to appreciate it more than I did. But for something original, you couldn’t beat “The 4th Dimension.”


“P.J.”
2008
** out of ****
Director: Russ Emanuel
Cast: John Heard, Howard Nash, Vincent Pastore


You know when you are so confused about a film that you really don’t know what to say? The kind of film where bias, cynicism, and being an Atheist come into play… yeah, that’s my problem with “P.J.” It might be just me. Hell, I KNOW it’s just me. Tony Farinella viewed the film and loved it. Russ Emanuel, good friend of mine and independent filmmaker, sent me a screener for “P.J.” without me really knowing anything about it. After watching Emanuel’s “Girl With Gun” a few months earlier, I kind of went into watching “P.J.” thinking that it was a type of movie that was just as badass and action packed that “Girl With Gun” was, and being that I watched “P.J.” right after I finished watching the ultimate bloody musical “Sweeney Todd,” it didn’t help much. I was so wrong that I wish I would have knew what I was going to watch before I watched it. It might have been a good movie, but many people know that I have a big bias when it comes to films that deal with religion. I couldn’t even enjoy a film like “Evan Almighty” because of that reason. So when I watch a film that brings up religion like “P.J.” did, I can’t enjoy it. Sorry Russ, but it’s just something I have to admit before I start my actual review.

Charles (Howard Nash) shows up at hospital talking to a psychiatrist. (John Heard) He has a week to understand Charles’ prognosis before Charles gets sent away to a mental institution. The film features some very solid direction from Russ Emanuel. Being his first feature-film (his other ones have all been short films, and some damn fine ones indeed), “P.J.” is a nice turn for a different type of film. “Girl with Gun” was a very espionage flick, but this is more of an inspirational drama. “P.J.” has some fantastic acting also, which really helps its rating in my book. Howard Nash does a great job, but I was amazed by John Heard’s performance in the film. Academy Award winners couldn’t intrigue an audience that well. “P.J.” is too nice for me though. Being such of a mad-man, I couldn’t get into a film that was as loving and caring as “P.J.” was. And being that the religion factor comes into the movie, I can’t recommend it. But I will admit, “P.J.” is a movie that though it will interest many others. Indie lovers will love this film. But due to being biased, I just couldn’t get into it.


“Clerks”
1994
**** out of ****
Director: Kevin Smith
Cast: Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Jason Mewes


Every once in a while a comedy comes around that changes the way that you look at things. “Clerks” came around in 1994, and changed the way how audiences viewed their job, their friends, and their lives. “Clerks” was filmed on a budget of twenty-seven thousand dollars, funded off of credit cards and friends of the filmmakers. Thankfully, the film is very successful. It has influenced many, but I don’t think it influenced anyone more than the filmmaker of the film himself. “Clerks” is about two best friends (Brian O’Halloran and Jeff Anderson) who work at convenient stores next door to each other. The worst part about it is O’Halloran isn’t supposed to be WORKING today. But who cares about that? After “Clerks” was released into theaters (it made three million and has since become a cult classic and the most stolen videotape in the United States), Kevin Smith has since became a name to everyone who is really into independent comedies. Since “Clerks,” he went on to direct a group of films that he later called the Jersey Films, films that took place in the Jersey area and all involve characters within one another.

Once his career took off, Kevin Smith has been making films with Miramax and the Weinstein Company, where he is now making one of my most anticipating films of the year. I love almost all of his films (the one film that I have a lot of beef about though is “Chasing Amy,” but it’s been ages since I’ve seen it), but “Clerks” will be my all-time favorite film of his. It’s not difficult and it’s really entertaining. For the lack of plot, it intrigues you the entire time. Throughout the entire time, you can relate to these characters. Each character hates their job, and wish that they could do something else with their lives. One of the main characters says this line: “This job would be perfect if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.” I only held a few odd jobs at a little restaurant over holidays, but I had finally realized that this statement is so true. “Clerks” has inspired filmmakers all over the place. It is the reason why I love movies, and it is the reason why you should.

Well that’s it for this week’s edition of Indie Scene. Next week, I’ll be checking out two new independent films – a horror movie with a very little budget and a documentary with a topic worth discussing – and another one of my favorite independent flicks of all-time. If you’re interested in having your film reviewed for specifically Indie Scene, send an email to Screeners@FilmArcade.net or TonyD@FilmArcade.net with the subject line “Indie Scene.” Thanks again, keep reading, and look out for my UFC article this Monday.

Welcome to the fifth edition of Indie Scene. I’m still surprised that I’ve been going this long. The last time I went this far at something was… Christ, this may be the longest. Anyway, the fifth edition is a special edition. Instead of reviewing independent films that very little people have heard of, I teamed up with Anthony Thurber of FilmArcade.net’s Reviews From the Horror Chamber. We decided to split up the DVD releases of the After Dark Horrorfest films from last November. The films were released on DVD March 18, 2008.

If you don’t know what After Dark Horrorfest is, you’re in luck. The Horrorfest is in its second year, where eight horror films are released into selected theaters for one week, and usually they are shitty movies. Last year’s Horrorfest only released one good film, “The Gravedancers,” and only released one other in a nationwide theatrical release, “The Abandoned.” In this year’s After Dark Horrorfest, not a single film was given a nationwide theatrical release, which means something. Anthony Thurber and I separated the films so we had four each. Here is my half of the films.


“Borderland”
2007
** out of ****
Director: Zev Berman
Cast: Brian Presley, Martha Higareda, Rider Strong


First up on my list was “Borderland,” the only film in the After Dark Horrorfest series this year that was based on a true story. Three college students (Brian Presley, Jake Muxworthy, Rider Strong) go to Mexico after they graduate, to get high, hallucinate, and schplotz. Once one of the guys goes missing, the other two go looking for him. Many think that he has become captive by a sacrificial cult. The first forty minutes are boring. Nothing really goes on. The students talk about their future, get high, meet women, take mushrooms, and party for a few nights. If you can take “Hostel,” you can take this. The biggest problem with the film is not the pacing issues, however.

For “Borderland,” to be called a horror film is like calling “Horton Hears a Who” a raunchy sex comedy. It’s the farthest thing. Oh, it’s gory, but most of the gore comes in during the first scene. It has the cinematography that Tony Scott used for “Man on Fire,” and it definitely has the feel of “Man on Fire,” but a horror film it is not. The film, unlike many films in the After Dark Horrorfest, actually has some good acting. A lot of the great acting comes from Sean Astin, the same Sean Astin from “Lord of the Rings.” He plays the main villain in the film, unlike his usual portraying of a heroic character. Rider Strong doesn’t add much to the film as much as he should. The rest of the cast does a decent job. “Borderland,” while low on the scares and the story, takes advantage with some good acting. And that is all I can say that was good about it.


“Crazy Eights”
2006
½ out of ****
Director: James Koya Jones
Cast: Traci Lords, Frank Whaley, Dina Meyer


Next up I watched “Crazy Eights.” The film was released prior to the Horrorfest according to IMDb, so I’m guessing that it must be good… right? Actually, it is the worst of the four films that I was scheduled to review. Six childhood friends (George Newbern, Traci Lords, Frank Whaley, Dina Meyer, Gabrielle Anwar, Dan DeLuca) reunite at one friend’s funeral. They follow an address that was on the friend’s will, which ends them up to an abandoned house. They later realize that they were all tortured as tots in that place, where they begin to panic… and say that they have to leave… shit I just gave away the ending, huh?

“Crazy Eights” is the usual After Dark Horrorfest film – filled with shitty acting, shitty direction, shitty scares, shitty plot, but some fantastic fucking marketing. You remember “Captivity” last year? It might as well have been called “Poster,” because that was the best part of the actual film. Nothing was good about that movie… not even the credits. “Crazy Eights” is even worse. We can see the twist coming from the first thirty second of the film and director James Koya Jones never tries to turn it up. It’s bland, boring, and nothing new. This film was worse than last year’s After Dark Horrorfest’s “Wicked Little Things,” and that is saying A LOT.


“Lake Dead”
2007
*** out of ****
Director: George Bessudo
Cast: Kelsey Crane, Jim Devoti, Kelsey Wedeen


Finally. The next film on my list was “Lake Dead,” and it is the best one that I have watched so far. The film isn’t original, but it’s not supposed to be. I should explain. “Lake Dead” is to put as many horror movie clichés as one possibly can. You have the characters that no one likes, drugs, sex, nudity, an inbred family, a death, a will… While I just gave you the plot, I might as well go into further detail. Brielle (Kelsey Crane) and her fiancé Ben (Jim Devoti) wake up to a call from Brielle’s drunk father (Dan Woods), telling them that Brielle’s grandfather has died. In his will, Brielle and her two sisters Sam (Tara Gerard) and Kelli (Kelsey Wedeen) are left with a motel. Brielle and Ben let Sam know that they were going up after the funeral… and Sam goes up there… and gets killed by someone. Along with Brielle, Ben, and Kelli, Ben’s frat-brother Bill, (Alex A. Quinn) his wife Amy, (Vanessa Viola) and Kelli’s friend Tanya, (Malea Richardson) they go camping for a few nights while traveling to the hotel… and then they meet the inbreds in ways that they never wanted to.

“Lake Dead” doesn’t have many scares in it, but it likes to homage some of the great horror films that have bestowed upon us in the past three decades. The film spots clear references to “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” “The Hills Have Eyes,” “The Last House on the Left,” and many more films. The showdown in the end is a lot like “The Hills Have Eyes,” and it very rarely misses a beat. The worst part about the film is the very bad acting. It is like that they hired all of the steaming hot actresses that acted in Cinemax late-night specials instead of actresses that could act (which really isn’t a problem with me, but let’s be frank here… there is only one pair shown here and it’s not from the lead actress). Aside from that, I really don’t see much problem with Lake Dead. It’s not great, but compared to all of the other After Dark films, “Lake Dead” is a fucking masterpiece.


“Tooth and Nail”
2007
* out of ****
Director: Mark Young
Cast: Michael Madsen, Vinnie Jones, Rider Strong


The last film I checked out was “Tooth and Nail,” and boy, was this sadly misplaced in the After Dark Horrorfest. It’s the farthest thing from a horror film. The film was more of an apocalyptic science fiction film rather than a horror film. If there were scares, I would like Mark Young, the director, to point them out to me. Hell, a lot of the film was so laughably bad that I would like the guy to show me any REAL humor that was in the film. And you know your movie is bad when Michael Madsen, the best part of “Bloodrayne,” couldn’t even work his magic with this film. But hey, it wasn’t as bad as “Crazy Eights” was. Once the last bit of oil is gone, shit goes downhill. Nothing can run, and people begin to die…

Wait a fucking second – so without oil, people BEGIN to die? What the fuck kind of bullshit is that? Am I fucking missing something here? So you mean to tell ME that without oil, we would all be dead? Jesus Christ some people really need new ideas. What in the hell happened to some great works like “Blood Car?” Anyway, a small group of survivors stay in an abandoned hospital. They are later invaded by cannibals. Yeah, the movie is stupid and so am I for watching it. What I really hated about the movie is how the film tries to rely on the twists and turns, but they all fall short in the end. It’s like watching a M. Night Shyamalan film that falters halfway through the actual twist. It could have been a lot better if the entire film was played cool instead of throwing stupid twists at the audience. In the end, “Tooth and Nail” was a waste of time, just like most of the After Dark films this year. I sure hope Anthony Thurber faired out better than I did…


That’s it for this week’s edition of Indie Scene. Next week, I’ll give you a look into two very different independent films, and one of my favorite independent films that I’ve ever seen. So for now, keep reading, and do yourself a favor and stay the hell away from films from the After Dark guys. There are films like “100 Tears” that need your attention. Anthony Thurber's half will be posted in this week's edition of Reviews From the Horror Chamber.

Hey everyone, and welcome to the fourth edition of Indie Scene. The fact that it’s been going on for this long is surprising me and probably everyone else. I just want to bring attention to a few things. First thing is first, if you want to send a screener for your film for this article, send an email to me at either TonyD@FilmArcade.net or Screeners@FilmArcade.net. Secondly, I plan on doing two screeners an installment, plus one independent film that I look back at (excluding next week’s edition). So without further ado, I present to you Indie Scene: Take 4.


“The West Wittering Affair”
2006
** out of ****
Director: David Scheinmann
Cast: Danny Scheinmann, Sarah Sutcliffe, Rebecca Cardinale


“The West Wittering Affair” is a comedy that sounds oh, so much better on paper than what the final result turned out to be. The film, which is a mix of epic proportions of “War of the Roses,” “The Break Up,” and “Troll 2,” should be funnier, more aggressive, and DEFINITELY in better taste. Oh, and it should have not been offending the audience member. The film begins as Jamie spends a weekend with Kathy (Sarah Sutcliffe) and her friend Natasha (Rebecca Cardinale) in the country. He manages to get them drunk, then he sticks his “ping-pong” in BOTH of their “papas” and WATTA YA KNOW! One gets pregnant. He goes to a therapeutic, only to realize that his therapist (David Annen) is the pregnant girl’s boyfriend. And yeah, it’s “Knocked Up,” “Juno,” and “Waitress” all over again, except this one comes out on DVD in 2008 and this time it’s not nearly as entertaining as the last three were.

“The West Wittering Affair,” while lacking on laughs, packs a ton of punches with the acting. Some of the best acting of the film comes from Danny Scheinmann, and if you didn’t realize it from earlier, the guy is the brother of director David Scheinmann. Danny does an amazing job at acting, switching over from one emotion to the next. His role manages to be a role where he has to do something instead of standing there and look good for the camera, and being such a good actor in this film, I want to see him do more. The supporting cast does an alright job; none of them can really stand next to the awesomeness of Danny’s character. As far as checking out “The West Wittering Affair,” I say don’t. But if you want to check out some fine acting, go ahead. It’s better than the acting that will be played in “Drillbit Taylor” this weekend.

To get more info of the film, visit the film’s webpage at http://www.myspace.com/thewestwitteringaffair.

“100 Tears”
2007
**** out of ****
Director: Marcus Koch
Cast: Joe Davidson, Georgia Chris, Jack Amos


I have two weaknesses when it comes to slasher movies – they must be clichéd and the vicious killer is a clown. That being said, Marcus Koch’s horror film “100 Tears” is one of the best slasher films I have even seen, and that is an amazing achievement for an independent horror film. With enough clichés and a scary villain, the clown (Jack Amos) is one of the weirdest characters It begins with enough gore that can last twenty movies, and it’s only in the first ten minutes ALONE. And it has plenty of plot-holes, a shitty last minute ending, and bad dialogue, but that’s fine with me. Did you ever see a clown movie clear up all loose ends? Even “It” ended on a sour note at the tip of my tounge. But “100 Tears” picks “It” up, slams its faggot ass on the ground, and stomps inside its asshole.

“100 Tears” tells the story of Gurdy the Clown, a rejected clown with dreams of being in the circus. When tabloid journalists Mark and Jennifer (Joe Davidson and Georgia Chris) find out about Gurdy killing a group of people, they decide to slide away from their usual stories (you know, the ones that say that there are Bigfoot sightings) and they decide to discover the mystery behind this one. More people begin to get killed and the case suddenly becomes more dangerous than what it seems like. There is some brilliant acting from the two leads, but the one that is most noticeable is Jack Amos, who plays the clown. Never have I seen a clown so frightening since the clown from “Fear of Clowns.” The film is going to be really known for the hardcore violence. The first ten minutes makes the film alone and gives the film a great start. It grabs you and never lets you go. And it’s rated NC-17 for extreme horror violence, so if you don’t take it from me, take it from the MPAA. “100 Tears” is a fun-filled ride that doesn’t stop even after it’s over.

To get more info of “100 Tears,” visit the film’s webpage at http://www.myspace.com/100tearsmovie.

“Drop Box”
2006
**** out of ****
Director: Anesty Carasoulos, Spiros Carasoulos
Cast: David Cormican, Rachel Sehl, Cyprianos Carasoulos


I saw “Drop Box” last year around this time. I liked it so much that I decided to revisit it. “Drop Box” tells the tale of a pop princess (Rachel Sehl) who accidentally returns her sex-tape instead of her copy of Mariah Carey’s classic “Glitter” in the drop box of a video-store. She tries to get the video-tape back from the cocky and cynical worker (David Cormican), but it only turns out that he’s not willing to give it back until he gets to see the contents of the video-tape. “Drop Box” is a lot like Kevin Smith’s cult classic “Clerks.” It has some great dialogue that will have film geeks oozing with orgasms. Cormican’s character brings up the fact that he puts shitty movies in the employee picks section so he can punish the people with the shitty taste. It is some of the truest works of art since “Liar, Liar.”

“Drop Box” has some excellent acting from David Cormican and Rachel Sehl. The two have such great chemistry with each other; it feels like that they have known each other for their entire lives. Cormican never lets a scene down, playing a character that is in vein to Randal Graves. Rachel Sehl doesn’t fail too. She acts just like how a pop-star will act – totally bitchy and conceited. But goddamnit, is she just as HOT as a pop-star is. “Drop Box” is funny, truthful, and realistic, and it’s just GREAT that there is a movie that knows how to be an independent movie. I forgot what independent movies tasted like…

To get more info of “Drop Box,” visit the film’s webpage at http://www.dropboxthemovie.com/.


Well that’s it for this week. Next week, Indie Scene and Reviews From the Horror Chamber combine together for the week and each take half of the After Dark Horrorfest films. In order to see who reviews who, you’ll have to wait and see until next week. Indie Scene will be posted next Thursday, whereas Reviews From the Horror Chamber will be posted March 30. Have a great Spring Break. I know I AM.

Hey everyone, and welcome to the third edition of Indie Scene. For all of you guys that only visit the page on Thursdays to read my fantastic weekly-article, you should have been able to see the changes that we’ve added to the site. Hopefully in the near future, more will come. In the meantime, I’m asking if everyone can vote for FilmArcade.net (again) at Blogger’s Choice Awards 2008. If we win, this will not only help us attract more readers, but gain FilmArcade.net more interest from independent filmmakers also. Here is the URL: http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/43155. Now, let’s get onto the film reviews…


“Kurt Cobain: About a Son”
2006
*** out of ****
Director: AJ Schnack
Cast: Kurt Cobain


Dare I say that Kurt Cobain is one of the most overrated guitarists that lived on this planet. Nirvana fans will be banging on my doorstep and Courtney Love will be putting a gun to my head. Though I really don’t understand why the guy is considered the greatest guitarists alive, I have to admit that the interviews that AJ Schnack showed here showed that Kurt Cobain had a weird life. For the great part of the film, the guitarist brings up the word suicide every five minutes, and tells the viewer just how his life changed. It’s nothing more that Tony Farinella over at 411Mania.com can’t do, but if you can get Kurt Cobain to open up his heart to you and talk to you about suicide like you’re Dr. Fucking Phil, I guess you get bonus points in my book.

A year before Kurt Cobain was either A. killed in a suicide attempt, or B. killed by Courtney Love, journalist Michael Azerrad conducted interviews with the guitarist for his book “Come As You Are: The Story of Nirvana.” Here, Kurt Cobain goes into detail back from when he was a child to when he began hitting fame to when he started doing drugs. In one of the many scenes where he talks about suicide, he says something about putting a gun to his head whenever he gets a stomach ache. While this will make some Nirvana fans uneasy, this could be a sign that more than likely he killed himself in a suicide attempt. While it doesn’t explain any conspiracy theories, it leads us to believe that the guy who many considered the spokesman for Generation X had a lot more on his mind than what he was known for at his highest fame. “Kurt Cobain: About a Son” is on DVD now, and I recommend it to anyone who advocates suicide. For the ones that don’t, I urge you to stay away… stayyy… awayyy…


“Deaden”
2006
*** out of ****
Director: Christian Viel
Cast: John Fallon, Deke Richards, Claudia Jert


For those of you staring at your computer screens at the name John Fallon and saying how you recognize the name, there is a chance that you probably do know who John Fallon is. If you read ArrowInTheHead.com, a horror movie review website that is just as good as it sounds, that’s his site. Betcha you never knew he was an actor either. He is, and he’s a screenwriter also. His film, “Deaden,” arrived in my mail about a month ago before I even got chance to screen it… and it still isn’t out on DVD yet. While I don’t want to say that the film was totally bad in an essence that it was shot on a very low budget and was only shot for thirteen days, it’s the kind of film that makes revenge looks fun. Surprisingly, this came in the mail from the same exact guys that sent me “Bad Reputation,” another film that involves fun revenge and schoolgirls.

“Deaden” begins graphically and ugly. Rane (John Fallon) used to be an undercover cop before he joined a gang, but when his crew finds out about his past, they kill his wife by sticking a baseball bat up her va-ghina, cutting out her unborn baby, and doing a significant amount of damage to him. He declares revenge on the group leader (Marcello Bezina). With a little help of his druggy friend, (Deke Richards) they go out to fuck back. If you even get past the five minute mark of the film, you should receive a damn medal just for watching it. Like “Bad Reputation,” “Deaden” was made by a movie critic (or most of it was made by a movie critic, aside from directing). Automatically, writer John Fallon has an advantage to every other horror film because he knows the ins and outs to the independent film business. He knows how to solve a problem where there needs to be solving and he does it by tying up all of the loose ends. It has enough violence to last you three regular rated R horror flicks. The only negative aspect about the film that I really had is that sometimes it bored me to tears, but within its seventy-plus minute running time, “Deaden” is sure to be one of the most-looked-at independent films for a while. And where else can you find a girl with a baseball bat in the spot where the sun doesn’t shine unless if you open it wide?


“The DemonsAmongUs”
2006
***½ out of ****
Director: Stuart Simpson
Cast: Nathaniel Kiwi, Peter Roberts, Laura Hesse


I’ve had “The DemonsAmongUs” for the better part of three months now. It has been sitting on my printer since then until I went out and bought a region-free DVD player. I still haven’t bought one yet, but my dumbass didn’t know that my DVD player built into my computer is actually region-free. I have to admit, it is a stupid move on my part, not because it’s been sitting there for three months and the guys who run the MySpace are questioning why I don’t have a review up for the film, but why it took me so long to watch such a badass movie. “The DemonsAmongUs” is a different type of film than the other ones, mostly because most movies like these kinds are usually depressing and always seem to turn out just right. Not this film. “DemonsAmongUs” begins with energy and ends with a closing that I will never forget.

Joe (Nathaniel Kiwi) moves to the countryside around Christmas time, and discovers that demons are lurking the town and killing everyone in sight. When Joe witnesses one of the killings, he’s for the blame and he’s the man on the run. Throughout the film, director Stuart Simpson creates such a dark atmosphere, and at many times, he uses the dark atmosphere by turning it trippy. It’s like a bad LSD trip. I have to give a lot of credit to these guys. For the first time EVER, I can’t bitch how fake these demons looked. The bastards actually looked scary. They weren’t those Hollywood demons that drooled all over themselves. These are independent horror demons that don’t hold nothing back. Perfect for gore lovers and demon lovers, “DemonsAmongUs” is the perfect demon film.


That’s it for this week. Next week I take on “PJ,” “100 Tears,” and another film that should be coming to me tomorrow or Saturday. If you would like your film reviewed, feel free to e-mail me at TonyD@FilmArcade.net or Screeners@FilmArcade.net. Have a kickass weekend.

Welcome all to the second edition of Indie Scene (NOT to be confused with the Indie Scene reviews over at Horror-101.) I’m going to give you a look at three very different films today: “Foxxy Madonna vs. the Black Death,” “Baystate Blues,” and “Amateur Porn Star Killer.” Before I give any look into any thing, though, I want to make a note of a new thing that I (Tony DeFrancisco) will be doing. On April 7, I will be starting something called UFC: Ultimate Film Champion. I will be digging into old films and classics (and sometimes, new releases) and giving my opinion on them. It will happen every Monday, so you can always check back here Monday night to see a review. If you want a film to be reviewed for UFC or want your film to be reviewed for Indie Scene, feel free to hit me up at TonyD@FilmArcade.net.


“Foxxy Madonna vs. the Black Death”
2006
** out of ****
Director: Jakob Bilinski
Cast: Monica Barajas, Jomar ‘Dez’ Banks, Jennifer Berkemeier


I’m going to be frank with you. Not many of the films that I catch has the kind of enthusiasm that “Foxxy Madonna vs. the Black Death” has. Made in just forty-eight hours for the 2006 National Film Challenge festival, it’s a wonder how a film like “Foxxy Madonna” could come out the way it did. They had to incorporate props and characters in the film, and the entire short film had to be completed in less than forty-eight hours (and yes, that means FROM SCRATCH). I watched the longer cut instead of the cut that was made for the festival, mind you, but enthusiastic or not, it’s an accomplishment to the Grindhouse cinema. Unfortunately, it’s something that I can’t recommend to anyone. Not only did everyone already recommend it before me, but it’s just not as good as what people say it was. I was just disappointed.

The few minutes worth of plot deals with Foxxy Madonna (Monica Barajas) tracking down the Black Death, (Jomar ‘Dez’ Banks) a vicious criminal who is looking to release a virus that is similar to the Black Plague. That’s as far as you’ll get with an actual plot. And though that might sound like a bad thing, it probably could work as a feature, but certainly not as a short. The biggest problem that I had with “Foxxy Madonna” was the action sequences. Punches and other things were thrown, and guns were shot, but nothing looked “real.” Nothing even seemed real to me. It kind of seemed that the sound came out before the bullets came out from the gun. The two stars alone is because of the acting from Foxxy Madonna, who goes from badass to uber-badass in a matter of seconds. Still, the fact that the violence was unrealistic and the character Chalkboard played by David Barajas (a mute who writes on a chalkboard to get his words out) was boring, I simply can’t recommend it. I can recommend, however, “Black Santa’s Revenge,” a better exploitation film and much more badass. Oh, and it stars Ken Foree.


“Baystate Blues”
2008
**½ out of ****
Director: Mark Lewis
Cast: Scott Lewis, Allyson Sereboff, Sharon Maguire


Mike (Scott Lewis) and Devon (Allyson Sereboff) are a married couple who are clearly not in love with each other no longer. Six months ago, Devon was in a car accident that left her leg fucked up, so she goes for walks to try and get her leg back into shape. On one random day, she meets up with her old high school friend Wojo (McKay Carpenter) as she was walking. Wojo is now a famous musician and just getting off of a big concert tour. Add in her sisters (Sharon Maguire and Steffi Kammer) and their relationships, and you have a film called “Baystate Blues.”

I saw a film very similar to “Baystate Blues” about two months ago that I reviewed for the site called “Finding Red Cloud,” and that may have been one of the best dramas that I’ve seen in about two or three years. The fact that it was an independent film only made me appreciate it more. “Baystate Blues” is just as independent as “Finding Red Cloud” was but it doesn’t have the feel of one. I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but I’ll admit that as far as the acting goes, it was top notch. The rest of it, however, was just okay. I have to admit that I was really into the story within the first thirty minutes, but then I started to get bored. Allyson Sereboff does an excellent job as Devon, or as I would like to call her, Gimpy. “Baystate Blues” could be better with a little bit more work, maybe a little bit more work on the script and a little less clichés, but it is a hell of a lot better as some of the recent films that I have seen.


“Amateur Porn Star Killer”
2007
½ out of ****
Director: Shane Ryan
Cast: Shane Ryan, Michiko Jimenez


If I had a nickel for every time I heard some one call “Amateur Porn Star Killer” a classic or work or art, I would have fifty cents, forty-five cents from the DVD cover and the guy who runs the MySpace. Actually, if I heard you say that “Amateur Porn Star Killer” was a classic while walking by you on the streets of Bellmawr, I would force you to the ground and start firing shots of pure rock into your pancreas. This is me being completely seriously. For all of the good shit that I’ve heard about the movie, there is a review that I don’t hear about that is the complete opposite. And boy, if those guys got you fooled… This movie in honestly the most overrated film since James Cameron’s “Titanic,” and that was made for the hefty sum of two-hundred million dollars. “Amateur Porn Star Killer” was made for forty-five dollars. And it’s pretty bad, that with all of the good reviews, you’d think that “Amateur Porn Star Killer” would have a higher IMDb rating than a 3.5 out of 10.

This film is nothing more than playing around with a “myth” called a snuff film. Truth is, snuff films weren’t as boring as “Amateur Porn Star Killer” is. Shane Ryan plays Brandon, a killer who kidnaps, rapes, and kills his victims. He rents old movies from the video-store, records the murders on a videotape, and returns the videotape to the store. For his final killing, Brandon picks up an eighteen year old girl named Stacy (Michiko Jimenez). He takes her back to a hotel room to film an amateur porn film. After Brandon finds out that the girl is really thirteen, he schplotzes her and then kills her. And yes… that’s the film. I’ve just told you the ending but I’m sure you already know it by reading the first two sentences. Many of the scenes were very hard to even look at, not because they were disturbing, but because it was so damn dark that you couldn’t even see what was going on the entire time. Then, for fifty minutes, we see nothing but talk… and sex… and if I wanted to see this, I would go on YouPorn.com and watch some two Swedes get it on in a language that I couldn’t understand. And yes – there IS a real blowjob, but that’s great. How does it feel, Mr. Ryan, that you aren’t man enough for the big leagues? “Amateur Porn Star Killer” is definitely one of the worst films that was in my possession, and I can assure you, if I hear you say something like “’Amateur Porn Star Killer’ is a classic,” I will grab your pubic hairs and shove it so far up your nose that you will be breathing in pubes for the rest of your days.

P.S. Now they are planning on releasing “Amateur Porn Star Killer 2” into the wild. And no, I will NOT check it out. I don’t have to step in shit twice to understand that shit still stinks.


Well that is it for this week’s edition of Indie Scene. Next week’s edition will contain “DemonsAmongUs,” “Deaden,” and “Kurt Cobain: About a Son.” Until then, you stay away from snuff films.

Welcome everyone to the Indie Scene. My name is Tony DeFrancisco, and I have been getting tons and tons of screeners for the past few weeks. So, I have introduced a weekly column called Indie Scene that will be released every Thursday called Indie Scene. This will be basically where I just discuss screeners that filmmakers send to me. If you are a filmmaker and interesting in having your film reviewed for Indie Scene, send me an email at TonyD@FilmArcade.net.


“The Creek”
2007
**½ out of ****
Director: Erik Soulliard
Cast: Kathryn Merry, Brian Jesiolowski, Erik Soulliard


It’s been five years since the “accidental” death of their friend Billy (Tim Jesiolowski), and since then, each of the six friends (Kathryn Merry, Brian Jesiolowski, Erik Soulliard, Dave Foster, Melissa Rhoads, Nancy Soulliard) each seen him once since. They all come back together, go out to the creek where he was killed on the fifth-year anniversary to drink and have fun but most importantly remember Billy. But then someone starts dying, is it someone out in the woods, is it one of them, or is it Billy’s ghost?

“The Creek” starts out really, really good. The storyline is great and the script is doable. It speaks like a Kevin Smith film and doesn’t let a word down (and hell, this could be Kevin Smith’s “Red State,” which is coming next year into theaters). But then once the dialogue ends and the killings starting beginning, “The Creek” becomes tiring, and you begin seeing everything that you saw in “Friday the 13th” but weaker. “The Creek” feels like it’s a moment too long also, but aside from a few problems and the acting, “The Creek” received the same rating that I gave “Hatchet.” If that means anything, it means that it is almost better than a film that got released into theaters.


“Deadly End”
2005
***½ out of ****
Director: Graeme Whifler
Cast: Jack Huston, Pell James, Terry Becker


When Bob and Wendi Petersen (Jack Huston and Pell James) move to Wormwood Drive when Bob gets a promotion, they thought that starting a new life there would make it a perfect place to raise a family. But within the first night, they encounter strange neighbors. Two very deaf old people inhabit their street and crash into their mailbox, but that’s not the beginning. There’s a man across the street from them named Adrien Trumbell, (Nick Searcy) and there is something mysterious about this guy. After putting laxatives in their chocolate, Bob and Wendi had enough, but Adrien has just begun…

The premise of “Deadly End” sounds like a silly revenge comedy, but “Deadly End” is much more than that. It begins slowly, but doesn’t waste a time telling its story. We don’t even begin seeing this Adrien guy until thirty minutes into the movie. By then, the Petersens see mysterious trees, get into an encounter with a creepy electrician, and even get poison oak. The villain, played by Nick Searcy, works well. We know nothing about the guy when we first meet him other than the fact that he listens to a radio show that is so morbid and so frighteni